Tuesday, May 4, 2010

stuff & digits & wasps

uno Take care of your stuff. Cars, computers, clothes, bicycles and everything else that you probably like to use and possibly treasure - they don't grow on trees. My mom said this at least twice a day when we were kids. But, for real. If you've gone to the trouble of owning it (or begging for it and getting your parents to buy it) then at least have the decency to take care of it.
dos Mind your digits. If you're working with any kind of power tools (from lawn mowers and chain saws to sanders and drills) pay attention to where your body ends and the tool begins. Be careful. I have seen some nasty, nasty things resulting from people not minding their digits. (And, no - there are no links to pictures of nasty, nasty things. You are clever, I know you know what I'm talking about.)
tres If you get stung by a wasp: Find somebody with a cigarette or some chewing tobacco (I realize that this may actually be impossible to do by the time you're old enough to read this.) Stick a little wad of tobacco in  your mouth and get it all spitty (quick. like a bunny!) and then slap it on the sting. Hold this wad of nastiness on the painful bump for as long as you can stand it. There is something in the plant that sucks the venom from your body. 

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I love raindrops on roses and whatnot, but even more than that I totally dig finding dollars in clothes I haven't worn in ages, live music, social networking and search engine optimization, research, freecycle.com, homemade beer, home grown stuff, writing, talking, laughing, green movements, debate, dialog, dumpster diving, time travel, time-out chairs, psychology, meals that last for hours, pranks, astral projection, meaningful lives, the kindness of strangers, trains, trucks and tractors, cowboys, horses, deer, eagles, random occurrences, modern tragedies, small appliances, good socks and sturdy shoes, shiny objects, painting, playing stringed instruments and singing harmony, pulling perfect feather pillows out of the freezer on hot and humid Kansas summer nights, rodeos and county fairs, brokers, organics and authenticity, my kids, their kids and my huge extended family. I am a hugger and I probably laugh AND talk way too much.