Friday, November 17, 2017

Dear Felix.

Hey Sweetpea.

Now that I know you're old enough, and have the technological resources to Google me and you, I'll just go ahead and be real: I'm talkin'to you here (you and Memphis and Evelyn and Gideon - all y'all are what is called my "Progeny.")
I started this before you were born because I'm an all  Machiavellian old-school Irish Catholic girl and I'm always thinking this could be the last thing I get to say.
Such Silliness.

I'm going to live so far beyond your wildest expectations, that you'll be thinking, 'Dang. I got stuff to do, but Momo's still over here... all chattin'me up..." You'll survive. Just gimme a sec.

I got you these three, today. I love you and see you changing the way we do stuff here, so stay woke, Sunshine. Pay attention. Sit up straight. 
Mind your posture, and gimme a hot second or two...

Uncle Jonathon Does What He Says
one IF you say you're going to do something: DO IT. No excuses. IF you can't do it, or if you're on the fence: Just Say No. Don't ever ever ever say you're going to do something that you're not absolutely certain you are going to do. Look at me here now: IF you think there is ANY chance that you won't be able to do what ever it is that you said you would do: JUST say no. You don't have to say sorry or anything else, just don't disappoint. Never ever ever say you'll be there on Wednesday when you know you're booked tight. 

Papa Z never said he'd do This, but he did it anyways.
two Based strictly on your *DNA: There is a good chance that you might live forever. You will survive stuff. That is your Superhero power like Catwoman can climb fences. Do not squander this resource. Don't go 120mph in a Jaguar on a highway that you know ends in a three hundred foot drop off. Don't wear sunglasses at night. Don't do cocaine. Don't let the super-cute Coast Guardian tell you that we can top 120 knots on this boat, before daybreak, and probably not blow up on the coast. All you got is what you got and there's a reasonable chance that it's going to be epic. Plan ahead. Sleep when you can, pack down protein if your body rolls that way and always lift with your knees. Guard your face and teeth. Just.Saying. You're so beautiful.

three Speak to yourself like you would speak to an itsy-bitsy baby, if you ever found an itsy-bitsy baby swaddled in flannel blankets, like IF you were on your way to school one day, and you found a perfectly swell swaddled baby.
Hold yourself tight and remind you that you are the most beautiful human that you've ever seen. Your strength is going to bring you things that your cold little nose hasn't even smelled yet. Tell you how smart and clever and emotionally tall you are. Look into those incredible blue eyes and know that there are only about 20 of us on the planet, with THOSE eyes and all. We see things. 

I love you, man. I try to be taller and cleaner and smarter and more clever than all the other Momos, on your behalf. 

I think we should NOT screw this up, together. It'd be a great story.....

xomomo

*YOUR DNA, omg. I'm equal parts Sorry/NotSorry. Truth is, dude - I know you're short and all, so I don't wanna give you too much to chew on, but maaaaaaaaaaaan, WE don't die. OUR people can go down in airplanes, drive cars into utility poles, roll with 8 rounds of radiation for cancer, buy Twinkies at a convenience store AFTER having been shot AND stabbed, plow fields with broken bones and exceed expectations on all counts. So: IF you think you wanna be all dramatic and give up like Scarlet O'Hara - you're a tree falling in an empty forest. None of us hear that, baby. Buck up. We gotta thang to do here. 

PS: Call anytime: Your dad has my digits.

Friday, November 11, 2016

These Three Fo.Sho

one You will experience bone-crushing disappointment and I'm sorry. There apparently always have to be losers so there can be winners. I didn't invent this model and I don't love it all the way out loud, but I fully expect for you to take your losses as gracefully as you claim your wins. Don't be a crybaby or a bully and do the best you can at all times. If winning is important to you, take the measures to make sure you can manage your expectations. And, as always - remember how good humility looks on you. Nobody loves a braggart (not even their grandmas.)


two To sit idly by and watch bad things happen is as criminal as making the bad things happen. If you see something that upsets your delicate balance and you know it's wrong, do what you can to change it or make it better (based on all the information you can gather and resolve you can muster.) You can always do something to help people who are being hurt and I count on you to be smart enough to figure out what that is.

three It is still not okay to say mean things. Period. Just do not say mean things. When you say mean things out loud your mouth will get stuck that way and then, one day, you'll wake to find that you've just been saying mean things to and about everything, for a very, very sad long time. So, speak kindly please. Always. And, no more yelling. There is just about never a need to raise your voice (or type in all caps, but we'll save that for another day.)

© moemasters thesethreethings 2016


Sunday, August 28, 2016

Three Things About Me

one Learn to be quiet as much as you speak and find the balance between the two. Write and think and literally bite the very end of your perfect little baby tongue before you say something. You don't need to speak every single time. Nobody wants to hear your stories or see your scars, they mostly only wanna share theirs. Either buy into this or suffer a lifetime of unmet expectations and all kinds of disappointment. Learn to write well; Nobody stops you when you're writing. (Unless you're a caretaker, then you'll just have to work this out.)

two Know, just know that there are a whole bunch of people who will mistake your kindness for flirting - IF you're a girl. IF you're a boy: Just please know, for the love of all things holy, that some girls were just raised to be polite and when they laugh at your lame stories or like the things that you post, they don't necessarily want to sleep with you. We live in an American world where a whole bunch of tolerance and compassion is mistaken for Lust. It's a cool thing when we can just love each other and not feel threatened or vulnerable.

three Keep your important stuff (ie; Shit) together and in an easily-found place. There is a reasonable chance you won't make it to your end as planned and somebody else is going to have to come in with a Clean-Up and Remembery crew. Make sure they don't find anything you don't want found and that they're able to make well-informed decisions about your legacy. When you are finally more than 40 years old, you will need a POA, a DNR, a Playlist, a Legacy contact and Best Photos with an accurate Obit outline. I also recommend donating your body to the nearest college with a medical school so they can get smarter and do a little science. 

moemasters (C) 2016

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Three Things I Did Not Know Yesterday

Hey Babies. 

I know it's been a hot-minute since I dropped by. I was working some stuff out and logistics got in the way and I broke another bone while saving some unicorns from a Rice Crispy factory guarded by Jesuit Priests..... I know you know what I'm talkin'bout.

As luck would have it, tonight I am all spooned into a backyard full of birds and bunnies and Smoking Hot connectivity, so I get to be all wise again. 

Lucky you.

Imma gonna try to break these three things down as softly as I can, and not be that pasty old white ganstah lady in a tattered plaid flannel robe, standing at the edge of a perfectly coiffed lawn, with a rolled up newspaper in my hands, screaming "YOU kids get OFFA my LAWN!!!" And, I still gotta tell you these three things.

It'll only take a sec.

one Anybody who needs to tell you how many degrees they have or what religion they drink  ... Anybody who points out the ethnicity or origins of their tribe or spends time telling you that they are in any way better than and different from you is only broken and insecure. Look up the meaning of insecure in your book... we don't have time to discuss it. It's not their fault but you mustn't stare into it or ever forget how similar we all are. We all just need water and air and love. 

two IF you love somebody, love them quietly and with out all the fanfare. They will know it by your actions and not your words. Speak less - Listen more. Nobody really loves an overachiever. Live your life large and speak about it to nobody.

three Burn bright and lay low. Find your balance and take care of yourself. Only give away as much as you know you can afford to keep. Rest up.

moemasters 2016


Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Three Thinks

one dream.sofa.king.big. I try to never say this out loud in a bar where everybody can hear it, but IF you can dream it - you can do it. I know it's totally cliche and tired to the point of exhaustion, but I've had recent reason to believe this is WAY more true than not - I know you know this. Dream big. I count on you for this.

 two LEAN IN Once you've dreamed of something strong enough to see it - the horse is outta the barn and you have an obligation to push that little dream forward. Once you've asked for it: You have to follow through. It's one thing to take a cookie every time the plate is passed AND an entirely different thing to imagine eating another cookie so strongly that you ask for another. please.sir. Be careful what you ask for and follow that all the way through to rolling credits.

three Suffer no fools and take no shit, little babies. I know I'm not supposed to talk like this with you and I'm hopeful we'll just agree to not tell your parents. My most important tip for tonight would be this: IF you meet somebody and within the first 30 second exchange, all your standy-up hair vibes tweak out: Walk away. ALWAYS trust your Spidey-Senses. Life is way too short. Trust your short hairs. It's science. Smile, nod and back away...

moemasters 2016 © omercydigital


Friday, March 25, 2016

Three Things Even You Can't Deny

one If a person who never admits to weakness says they are in blinding pain,
be it physical or emotional, you don't get to say, "Oh no you're not." Even worse than that is launching the Scar Wars Game and wasting valuable time to outline how your pain is greater than anybody else's in the whole world because nobody has ever been wronged as deeply as you. Both these things are wrong in every way. Do not ever do this to somebody, unless you are playing the Scar Wars Game, and then: Roll up your pant legs and let the stories outta the barn, Baby!

two Should science and math indicate that you occupy a space on the globe that is, essentially, sunless and wet, it just makes
you look desperate and kinda thick to argue that "HUH.uh! It is TOO sunny and dry here all the time!" If it's hot and sunny or gray and hopeless: Own that truth and wrap it up around you like a blankie. Not everybody is going to love the same stuff and that's what makes it more fun. And, please - never argue with a scientist.

three If you get to live long enough, there will be times where you are just straight-up wrong. It's okay, I promise you're going to be okay. Your occasional wrongness does not define you as a human being. Sometimes we just get flawed data, or we hear and maybe repeat an untrue story... sometimes we just want to feel taller than the arrogant turd sitting across from us. Regardless: Forgive yourself and practice humility. ALWAYS remember and NEVER forget that you could be wrong. When in doubt: Say nothing. 
PS: Even IF you know you are right - if you find yourself in this position: Best to walk away and breathe through it. Do.NOT.feed.the.trolls.

© moemasters 2016 thesethreethings 

Thursday, March 17, 2016

one I would hope that I've mentioned some version of this already, but on the off-hand chance I have not - here's a little lifehack about the care and management of your Creatives, that could make your world way better. If you're lucky enough to be surrounded by artists and writers and musicians and whatnot, the MOST wrong thing you can do is say to them, "Y'know what you oughta do" while they are in the middle of a creative session. Sometimes it takes no more than those few words to blow up the mojo surrounding that piece and cause a Creative's brain to bluescreen from overload. If you have such great ideas about creating similar things, you should just create them and be very very quiet. 

(Personal bonus tip: Don't be the person who just "likes to watch" the creative create. I can think of few things in the world that make me more sick. Get a job. I like to watch you bring home a paycheck. I'm a Creative.)

two People always joke about "using their power wisely" but what they maybe don't know is that this is no joke. We have all power. We are power sources, like batteries but different and more fun. Every moment of every day we get to choose to EITHER be positive OR negative. There is no in-between. The moment you find yourself in another human's
company, you gotta know that there is an energy exchange and you get to choose how that works out for them. You're going to be whatever you're going to be, but the instant you share company - you get whatever you are all over the person in your wake. When I was a kid, like - itsy freakin'bitsy, my dad would bark "FLY RIGHT!" What he meant was get your shit together and act like a human being, for God's sake. When I was a kid, "Acting Like" things was a valued skill set. Somewhere between then and now, we stopped paying extra for that, but I still fully expect you to put on your best game face if you've chosen to occupy a world where other humans live with expectations.

three Choose your mountains carefully. Don't get all strung-out on every single fresh & minty cause that rolls your way. It's cool to care and care all the way to your bones, but you only get so many battles in the course of a lifetime, so choose yours like a grown-up. I'm sorry/not sorry to have to tell you this while you're
so young and tender, but it's probably best you hear it from me first... here, than from a stranger in an alley: The younger you are when you choose your mountains, the stronger your footing will be. I don't envy you the options you probably have, but I know you'll choose wisely, Shortysan. 

moemasters copyright 2016 ©

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