Sunday, August 28, 2016

Three Things About Me

one Learn to be quiet as much as you speak and find the balance between the two. Write and think and literally bite the very end of your perfect little baby tongue before you say something. You don't need to speak every single time. Nobody wants to hear your stories or see your scars, they mostly only wanna share theirs. Either buy into this or suffer a lifetime of unmet expectations and all kinds of disappointment. Learn to write well; Nobody stops you when you're writing. (Unless you're a caretaker, then you'll just have to work this out.)

two Know, just know that there are a whole bunch of people who will mistake your kindness for flirting - IF you're a girl. IF you're a boy: Just please know, for the love of all things holy, that some girls were just raised to be polite and when they laugh at your lame stories or like the things that you post, they don't necessarily want to sleep with you. We live in an American world where a whole bunch of tolerance and compassion is mistaken for Lust. It's a cool thing when we can just love each other and not feel threatened or vulnerable.

three Keep your important stuff (ie; Shit) together and in an easily-found place. There is a reasonable chance you won't make it to your end as planned and somebody else is going to have to come in with a Clean-Up and Remembery crew. Make sure they don't find anything you don't want found and that they're able to make well-informed decisions about your legacy. When you are finally more than 40 years old, you will need a POA, a DNR, a Playlist, a Legacy contact and Best Photos with an accurate Obit outline. I also recommend donating your body to the nearest college with a medical school so they can get smarter and do a little science. 

moemasters (C) 2016

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Three Things I Did Not Know Yesterday

Hey Babies. 

I know it's been a hot-minute since I dropped by. I was working some stuff out and logistics got in the way and I broke another bone while saving some unicorns from a Rice Crispy factory guarded by Jesuit Priests..... I know you know what I'm talkin'bout.

As luck would have it, tonight I am all spooned into a backyard full of birds and bunnies and Smoking Hot connectivity, so I get to be all wise again. 

Lucky you.

Imma gonna try to break these three things down as softly as I can, and not be that pasty old white ganstah lady in a tattered plaid flannel robe, standing at the edge of a perfectly coiffed lawn, with a rolled up newspaper in my hands, screaming "YOU kids get OFFA my LAWN!!!" And, I still gotta tell you these three things.

It'll only take a sec.

one Anybody who needs to tell you how many degrees they have or what religion they drink  ... Anybody who points out the ethnicity or origins of their tribe or spends time telling you that they are in any way better than and different from you is only broken and insecure. Look up the meaning of insecure in your book... we don't have time to discuss it. It's not their fault but you mustn't stare into it or ever forget how similar we all are. We all just need water and air and love. 

two IF you love somebody, love them quietly and with out all the fanfare. They will know it by your actions and not your words. Speak less - Listen more. Nobody really loves an overachiever. Live your life large and speak about it to nobody.

three Burn bright and lay low. Find your balance and take care of yourself. Only give away as much as you know you can afford to keep. Rest up.

moemasters 2016


Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Three Thinks

one dream.sofa.king.big. I try to never say this out loud in a bar where everybody can hear it, but IF you can dream it - you can do it. I know it's totally cliche and tired to the point of exhaustion, but I've had recent reason to believe this is WAY more true than not - I know you know this. Dream big. I count on you for this.

 two LEAN IN Once you've dreamed of something strong enough to see it - the horse is outta the barn and you have an obligation to push that little dream forward. Once you've asked for it: You have to follow through. It's one thing to take a cookie every time the plate is passed AND an entirely different thing to imagine eating another cookie so strongly that you ask for another. please.sir. Be careful what you ask for and follow that all the way through to rolling credits.

three Suffer no fools and take no shit, little babies. I know I'm not supposed to talk like this with you and I'm hopeful we'll just agree to not tell your parents. My most important tip for tonight would be this: IF you meet somebody and within the first 30 second exchange, all your standy-up hair vibes tweak out: Walk away. ALWAYS trust your Spidey-Senses. Life is way too short. Trust your short hairs. It's science. Smile, nod and back away...

moemasters 2016 © omercydigital


Friday, March 25, 2016

Three Things Even You Can't Deny

one If a person who never admits to weakness says they are in blinding pain,
be it physical or emotional, you don't get to say, "Oh no you're not." Even worse than that is launching the Scar Wars Game and wasting valuable time to outline how your pain is greater than anybody else's in the whole world because nobody has ever been wronged as deeply as you. Both these things are wrong in every way. Do not ever do this to somebody, unless you are playing the Scar Wars Game, and then: Roll up your pant legs and let the stories outta the barn, Baby!

two Should science and math indicate that you occupy a space on the globe that is, essentially, sunless and wet, it just makes
you look desperate and kinda thick to argue that "HUH.uh! It is TOO sunny and dry here all the time!" If it's hot and sunny or gray and hopeless: Own that truth and wrap it up around you like a blankie. Not everybody is going to love the same stuff and that's what makes it more fun. And, please - never argue with a scientist.

three If you get to live long enough, there will be times where you are just straight-up wrong. It's okay, I promise you're going to be okay. Your occasional wrongness does not define you as a human being. Sometimes we just get flawed data, or we hear and maybe repeat an untrue story... sometimes we just want to feel taller than the arrogant turd sitting across from us. Regardless: Forgive yourself and practice humility. ALWAYS remember and NEVER forget that you could be wrong. When in doubt: Say nothing. 
PS: Even IF you know you are right - if you find yourself in this position: Best to walk away and breathe through it. Do.NOT.feed.the.trolls.

© moemasters 2016 thesethreethings 

Thursday, March 17, 2016

one I would hope that I've mentioned some version of this already, but on the off-hand chance I have not - here's a little lifehack about the care and management of your Creatives, that could make your world way better. If you're lucky enough to be surrounded by artists and writers and musicians and whatnot, the MOST wrong thing you can do is say to them, "Y'know what you oughta do" while they are in the middle of a creative session. Sometimes it takes no more than those few words to blow up the mojo surrounding that piece and cause a Creative's brain to bluescreen from overload. If you have such great ideas about creating similar things, you should just create them and be very very quiet. 

(Personal bonus tip: Don't be the person who just "likes to watch" the creative create. I can think of few things in the world that make me more sick. Get a job. I like to watch you bring home a paycheck. I'm a Creative.)

two People always joke about "using their power wisely" but what they maybe don't know is that this is no joke. We have all power. We are power sources, like batteries but different and more fun. Every moment of every day we get to choose to EITHER be positive OR negative. There is no in-between. The moment you find yourself in another human's
company, you gotta know that there is an energy exchange and you get to choose how that works out for them. You're going to be whatever you're going to be, but the instant you share company - you get whatever you are all over the person in your wake. When I was a kid, like - itsy freakin'bitsy, my dad would bark "FLY RIGHT!" What he meant was get your shit together and act like a human being, for God's sake. When I was a kid, "Acting Like" things was a valued skill set. Somewhere between then and now, we stopped paying extra for that, but I still fully expect you to put on your best game face if you've chosen to occupy a world where other humans live with expectations.

three Choose your mountains carefully. Don't get all strung-out on every single fresh & minty cause that rolls your way. It's cool to care and care all the way to your bones, but you only get so many battles in the course of a lifetime, so choose yours like a grown-up. I'm sorry/not sorry to have to tell you this while you're
so young and tender, but it's probably best you hear it from me first... here, than from a stranger in an alley: The younger you are when you choose your mountains, the stronger your footing will be. I don't envy you the options you probably have, but I know you'll choose wisely, Shortysan. 

moemasters copyright 2016 ©

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

No Baby Buzzkills

one You can agree to disagree about things that you believe with people who are in your orbit and it's okay. It's not a contest and you don't have to be emotional and undone. It really is all good and, if you enjoy that person's company, you just agree to not discuss that thing anymore. You can figure out pretty quickly how somebody feels about something and if it's not what you believe and you really like their company - just ssshhhhhhhh.

two Be real. Get real and stay real. Don't say one thing and do another. If you think you are super-duper smart or religious or political or physically fit or philanthropic - just be those things and don't devalue them by telling anybody about it. If you're doing it right, everybody will know. When you talk about it, it makes it seem like you are insecure and
doubtful enough as to need somebody else's approval. You don't need that; You quietly got this.

three Please don't be a buzzkill, baby. I know it's hard to grow up or eat vegetables or attend things you didn't dream up, but you have to suck it up sometimes and act like you're happy anyways. You don't have to act happy all the time, that would be wickedly mean and ridiculous. You do have to have manners and know when to use them. If there is any doubt, feel free to read any one of the hundreds of short, sweet little bites of etiquette I have already shared here. I wouldn't have written them if I didn't love you.

© 2015 moemasters thesethreethings

Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Root of Three Things

one Moderation might just be the key to living a meaningful life. I am all-in for testing limits and almost getting arrested or nearly getting married, but I would hope that this fundamental piece of advice is way more meaningful than a key to The Estate where you can always seek refuge and store your boxes of high school art. For sure do the things that keep you contemporary. Occupy and consume and own and storm and drop and puff.puff.pass while you do ping-pong shots across from people who make your blood run hot. Do all of that just enough to know all the rules you are choosing to break.


two Tell The Truth and surround yourself with truth-tellers or be willing to age extra-super-duper turbo-fast and probably get cancer, often. This has not been scientifically proven to be The Specific cause of cancer, but I have my suspicions. It's an insidious slippery slope that starts with things like "I din't fart/burp or Everything is fine" and digresses with age and loss of bliss to things like "No.really You look great in those jeans and I understand why you hit me and... "  I know you and your delicate Spidey Senses and I know that you know when it feels wrong. Do not ever yield to the will of nefarious six-fingered bastards. Always ask yourself: "Would my Momo treat me this way?" 


three Be Patient with yourself and your expectations and expeditions. You are not really the boss of you in every single instance. There is a way to stay true to your wants and tend to your needs. Nobody but you knows, really, what you need and I know you are smart and clever and brave enough to make everything that matters happen. All of it. You got this if you just stay true and move slowly with patience, like a ninja. I love you and the way you get what you need.

© 2015 moemasters thesethreethings 



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I love raindrops on roses and whatnot, but even more than that I totally dig finding dollars in clothes I haven't worn in ages, live music, social networking and search engine optimization, research, freecycle.com, homemade beer, home grown stuff, writing, talking, laughing, green movements, debate, dialog, dumpster diving, time travel, time-out chairs, psychology, meals that last for hours, pranks, astral projection, meaningful lives, the kindness of strangers, trains, trucks and tractors, cowboys, horses, deer, eagles, random occurrences, modern tragedies, small appliances, good socks and sturdy shoes, shiny objects, painting, playing stringed instruments and singing harmony, pulling perfect feather pillows out of the freezer on hot and humid Kansas summer nights, rodeos and county fairs, brokers, organics and authenticity, my kids, their kids and my huge extended family. I am a hugger and I probably laugh AND talk way too much.