from a grandbaby perspective

My name is Evelyn Mae. I am a grandbaby to whom all this great advice is directed. I have limitations because I'm, like, way short. But I see stuff. You guys need to chill and stare deeply into this. Bring your A-Game or call in sick.

one I am in charge here. If you ever forget that, try to go for a midnight taco run and then remember that it's a felony to leave a sleeping, teeny weeny, perfect, baby in a crib. Yea. I know. It's harsh, but I am kinda going to call all the shots from now on. Well, not like forever, but for a long long unspeakably long time. It will work out great for all of us so long as you remember that one thing. I could go on, ad nauseum, about what all this entails, how many compromises you will have to make, the blood, the sweat... the tears.... but: Life is short, I know you don't want to actually have to hear me tell you these things.

two If you feed me three, maybe four, pounds of fresh organic tomatoes when I am on a seriously bad-ass road trip, you will have to help me clean up. Dude. I am a baby. You cannot plead ignorance and you cannot feed my weakness  for vegetables. Seriously. You are fifty and I am not yet two. You do the math, think about the acid in tomatoes and give my mom a call. She was not a happy navigator.

three I know that you have to have some fingerprints on my spirit before all is said and done. This is what you grown-ups do as evolved mammals. I'm good with that. You need to own it. Engage. Teach me to sit up straight, make eye contact, use my manners, dumptster dive, pass algebra, read a book, feed the homeless and manage. Expect something of me. Cope. Help me cope. It's going to take every single one of you. Yea. Even you. You didn't even know that you mattered, but it's nutty what matters to a baby.  I count on you to think happy thoughts and keep your shit together. (I am allowed to talk like that on Momo's Porch of Immunity. She said so. The grown-ups can't hear it.)

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings evelyn mae

Change, change, change.

The dawn of another autumn in New England has guest blogger Eric Klein contemplating change in all it's incarnations. He's got some credibility on the topic as the photo he supplied of himself dating from the early 70's clearly demonstrates.

one While prevailing wisdom suggests that highly successful people embrace change, one thing is certain. Survivors learn to cope with it. One secret to adapting to change is to understand that change tends to act as an equalizer, lifting some people from hard times, while simultaneously knocking some people from their pedestals. Coping with the teeter-totter rhythms of change helps keep us humble and reminds us to enjoy the good times.

two Don't underestimate the power of the seemingly lowly penny, nickel and dime. Alone they seem insignificant, but heap a whole pile of them together, and they can do some amazing things! Get a clean bucket, a few coffee cans or even an old fashioned piggy bank and start tossing spare change in it. Do this each day for a few months (no withdrawals!) and you'll be surprised how much it adds up to. It may not be enough to buy a pony, but it might be enough to get you the skateboard or MP3 player that will make you the envy of the neighborhood. All the cool kids will want to sit with you at lunch.

three Try not to fall in love with one particular set of clothes to the exclusion of all others. While it is totally normal to have a favorite, (trust me, I had a pair of blue parachute pants that I wore until the thread disintegrated) it can be off-putting to others to see you in the same outfit all the time. Besides, your favorite clothes will start to get funky after a while if you don't launder them regularly. Change clothes daily (and yes, that does include socks and underwear) and mix and match items for variety. Don't be afraid to experiment with your style a little. A little change can be fun!

copyright 2011 thesethreethings, moemasters, ericklein

Not Dead Yet: Your Three Things

I threatened to dig a shallow grave for this little project recently and have met with just enough resistance to decide to wait it out. I'm going to see what happens if I ride in the back seat and let you drive the car. Kinda, sorta - I'll be like a back-seat GPS who's pushy and has just a smidge of control. You get to provide the content and I get to be a cheerleader.

I have received a handful of great blog submissions and am now able to get back to regularly scheduled programming. Three things, three minutes, once a week. You know the drill. You know you've got three things in you - Here's your chance to get 'em out. Please do one of these. Heck, do five. I love it when you guys do this.

What follows are the three things I need from you to take your three ideas and format them to my liking:

one Please give me a good picture, that you like, of yourself. The bigger, the better - but I can do pretty much anything with anything. It just gets all arty when what I receive is too small or not sharp. I love the old baby shots of you, too. Just send me a good head shot to: moemasters@hotmail.com

two A brief introduction or bio or something funny that I can use as a cutline under your photograph. Some little way of saying "Howdy!" to the people who read this and haven't yet met you in person.

three Your Three Things. I can clean copy up and won't let you walk around with your skirt tucked in your pantyhose all day, so don't worry about the technical stuff. Just send me three things. If they just happen to come to me all perfect and ready to run, then know I am so hugging you. Hugging. You. And, as always: Grateful.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

The Final Three

one Your expectations could very well jack up the quality of your life. Expect nothing out of people and situations. What ever happens will be what happens. This applies to every single little thing. Expectations breed disappointment, almost every time.

two Almost without exception, when people you really love die: You will make some historically awful choices. Just know this much going in and maybe you can avoid some of the life-altering consequences that come from making any important decisions when you are ill-equipped to do so. If you are lucky enough to have a partner, or a sibling or a friend who loves you - you will have a little wiggle room. But, plan on being alone and strong and not making any choices bigger than what to put on the memorial card.

three Never stop learning stuff. If you suddenly wake up one day and realize that you haven't stretched your brain in a long time - it's time to learn something new. Never stop that business. Ever. Learn to speak Russian or play guitar or totally kick butt in Scrabble. But, learn something that you don't already know, and make it kind of difficult.

Thanks for being such stellar grandbabies, I promise I'll stop telling you stuff now, I trust your instincts enough to know that what I haven't shared - you will figure out. You are golden and stellar and will never even be capable of disappointing me. You are incredible and I love you. xoxo momo

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

dogs, boats & everything

one Know that I didn't write these rules, they just are what they are. You will be judged by the company you keep. If you lay down with dogs you probably will wake up with fleas (especially when you're laying down with dogs whose owners don't subscribe to flea treatments.) Should you ever find yourself wondering what you're doing hanging out with people who do things that constantly embarrass you, you probably need to re-evaluate. It may always be more comfortable to hang with people who have no expectations (of themselves and you) but it's a lot more rewarding to hang with those who make you try to be a better a person. I'd do that instead.

two Try not to buy big ol' expensive toys that exceed your skill set. If, for instance, you think you need a motor boat - you'd best learn how to start and stop it before you put it in the water. There is great responsibility attached to the privilege of ownership. In the case of owning a boat: You'll also need some rope, extra life jackets, buoys, a fire extinguisher and a whole bunch of other stuff too. These big ol' toys require pretty constant cash infusions and a whole pantload of common sense. Boats also require gasoline, lots and lots of gasoline. Just know that the bigger and more expensive the toys: The more you'll be required to put into 'em. It just makes you look silly when you have big expensive toys and you don't know how to use them properly.

three There may come a day when you think you know everything, not about everything, necessarily, but about something. It's going to be hard, but you need to remember that you probably don't know everything and are probably not qualified to be the end-all resource on what ever topic it is that you think you know every single thing about. Hedge your bets, baby. Leave room for there to be addendums or additions to what you are pontificating about. You may know a lot, but you probably don't know everything. And, this is not an indictment, it's just fact. You are still brilliant, baby, and way above average.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

three totally unrelated things

one If it should ever come to pass, which it very well might, that you have to eat at a McDonald's ~ First: Please accept my apology for being any part of a food source that could degrade epicurean bliss so monumentally, and Second: Do NOT eat the chicken McNuggets. Order a cheeseburger with ONLY mustard and onions. They have to special make them and they don’t have any time in a warming tray. They are both safer, and tastier. (And, quite honestly: Cleaner. Pickles can fall out on your face if you don’t bite ‘em just right and ketchup is extra-gross while staining worse and faster than anything on the planet beside plant fertilizer.) I’ve also learned that one of those cheeseburgers can last for up to 9 hours in a purse. I don’t really do load-bearing tests on the time anymore because once I had a bad run-in with a Hardee’s turnpike hamburger. I probably wouldn’t stretch it much past eight hours though, just to be on the safe side.

Bonus Round! You can also order fries with no salt (if you have the time, patience and people watching proclivities) and they have to make those special too. They do a mass salting on the fries as soon as they come outta the fryer. McDonald’s French fries only have a shelf life of about 6 minutes anyways, so no real love lost. Just salt your own fries if you choose to go down that road.

two Don’t climb into bed with filthy feet. I know you played hard all day... but. Really? Baby? You’re going to roll that way? Huh uh. Not on my watch. Those could be 900 count Egyptian cotton sheets. I could have painstakingly bleached them and hung them on the line to dry. God only knows what you’ve tracked in here. You don’t have to take a whole bath, but you do have to wash your feet before you sleep on my good sheets. You are always more than welcome to sleep on the porch, there’s a blanket in the milk box.

three Don’t tease the dog. Yea. Really and please. Just don’t do it. All dogs are just about the same and they get turbo happy about anything food or attention related. But, ultimately – it’s all about the food.  An example of this would be you holding out a hot dog and then snatching it away just when the dog thought he was going to get a bite. Do not do anything like this and learn to avoid the near temptation of this. Dogs bite people who make them mad, that’s why they came with those awesomely ferocious teeth and jaws that open all the way back to their ears. Please do not tease the dog.

Copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

calming down and historic scabs

one Telling people to "Calm Down" when they are just clearly all worked up is the WRONG thing to do. I don't know why, I only know for sure that you ought to find something else to say in these instances. If you are, like, all hanging out with somebody who you know gets twitchy at the drop of a hat, don't be telling them to calm down. For real, Baby. There is another way that does not involve you using the words "Calm Down!" Pay attention to your loves and your words - know who is twitchy and who is not. Mind what you say.

two Don't tell anybody what you used to do. Like, all the time. Don't say, "Oh yea, I used to be the girl who brought Gandhi coffee..." just don't do it. It does not matter who you used to be or what you used to do (unless you are on a job interview. If that's the case: None of this applies.) The only thing that matters is who you are here ... now... with me in this moment. For real Baby. We have all been some places and done some things. If somebody cares enough about you, they will unearth this history on their own. Be.Here.Now. For real.

three Don't pick at that scab. For real. I know it itches and makes you wince when you bend that part of your body, but seriously baby: Do not pick at that scab... This is a universal truth about letting sleeping dogs lie, or lay or stay laid down... or something. But, if you've got some old scab that's just driving you crazy: Walk away from it or make yourself get distracted and that sensation will pass. Don't pick.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

crabbiness, thieves and throw-downs

one There are going to be days where you are just crabby. There could well be no one good reason for it, or it could be a cumulative effort from a million small things that you didn't even notice. But, know that there will be days where you won't be sunshine and unicorns. It just happens. It also makes you appreciate the days when you're inexplicably happy WAAAAY more.

two Don't make it easy for the bad guys. At the end of the day, when you're all done riding your bike around the neighborhood, put it away in the garage or wherever it belongs. If you leave it out front, it could get jacked way too easily. And, when you grow up, don't leave your keys in the ignition of your unlocked car. Someday it will get stolen. On the Internet: Protect yourself. Just be as smart about it as you can be ~ think it through. Just don't make it any easier for the bad guys than it already is. They're crafty and apparently have a lot of time on their hands to think up new and clever ways to upset your applecart.

three People who love each other will have disagreements. The greater the love, the greater the pain and the bigger the throw-downs. There could be slamming, stomping, swearing and tears. Probably. Maybe. That doesn't mean that it's time for you to bail. Learn to fight* fair and don't sucker-punch the people you love (and who love you) most. Get over it and iron out all the wrinkles as soon as you can. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.** And, conversely: If you find yourself on the front porch of a fight but you don't really want to burn the calories on it: It's probably not worth it to you and you need to cut ties and walk away.

*Fighting should never ever involve physical contact. I'm talking about disagreements here. IF anybody ever hits you or bites or kicks you: RUN AWAY, little baby. 

**I say these things like I know or have tested the theories. I have personally never experienced any degree of success in this arena, but I know people who've been together for 20-30 years, and I've seen how they roll.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

passwords, moms and commerce

one Put all your passwords and logons in one place, on your computer. And, put them in your wallet too. Or something. I just spent an hour trying to remember who I was and how I got here. Write this stuff down. For real. That was a ridiculous hour of my life that I'll never get back.

two Call your mother*. If you have one, call her. By the time you are able to read this, it will probably be just as appropriate to text, PM, email or post on your mother's wall, as well. There is a fine line that separates creepy mom-dependence from love ~ so walk it carefully. Her job was to teach you to fly just as much as it is your job to leave the nest. And you still probably need to drop into her orbit from time to time.

three Be Local. Buy local and go to the stores that your neighbors own and buy the goods that come from the people you know. Spend your hard-earned dollars in places where you know the merchants. I know it would just be easier to go to Walmart, but you don't have to. Your neighbors have almost everything you need and they are just as hungry as you are. They will gladly trade you goods and services for money. Keep your money in the neighborhood, y'know? 

* "Mother" in this case does not necessarily mean your mom, but is rather a generic kind of term for whoever has provided maternal nurturing and made sacrifices on your behalf to ensure that you didn't grow up to be feral, thoughtless and embarrassing.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

speaking, stuff and sinks

one Learn to stop speaking. Do not over-sell. If you pay attention, you can see the very moment that somebody gets it. You don't always have to have the last word. Quit selling sometimes. Have faith in the fact that every once in a while you really will have the best idea ever and you won't need to dress it up in it's Sunday Best to get others to agree.

two Know that everything could be gone in a heart beat. Look around: All of this that you see could just as easily vanish as not. So, please, try not to hinge your well-being on the things that surround you. They are all transitory. One good flood, tornado, earthquake, fire or hurricane and they are all gone. All Gone. Like, permanently. I know it sounds trite, baby ~ but all that really matters is the people you are able to surround yourself with and the love you are lucky enough to give and receive.

three If your sink starts to smelling funky for unknown reasons (it's not really a mystery, there's probably some funk in the trap) just get your Arm & Hammer baking soda out and shake a couple poofs into the offensive area and follow it up with a slug of vinegar. It can be any kind of vinegar, but not too much of it. It will foam up like a volcano (which is, admittedly, extremely cool) and wash the smell away for a minute or two. You will eventually need to get under there and take that trap out, but this should buy you some time.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

honor, discretion and skepticism

one Be skeptical. To be skeptical means that you don't take just everything at face value. Not everybody is telling the truth all the time and some things aren't really what they seem. We all only have this one filter through which to see stuff and we all see different stuff. Just know that if you really want to believe something or trust in someone ~ You need to be grounded in respect for the process. Do your research, don't compromise and never forget that anything can be Photoshopped in and digitally enhanced. Where a picture used to be worth a thousand words, it is now worth about $399.

two Be discreet. You could very well be one of those people to whom complete strangers will walk up and share their most intimate secrets. They will tell you incredible stories full of rich details. These stories will be sensational; they'll make you laugh and cry and laugh till you cry. Sometimes, they'll keep you up at night. You don't need to be sharing what you hear with anybody else. It's an unwieldy power ... this thing that makes us hear stories. Just because you know it doesn't mean you have to share it. (Unless it's especially brutal and could be changed by the telling.) Discretion is the better part of valor.

three Be honorable. Do the right thing. For real. I know I've said it to you here before, but I haven't specifically said this: Be True and Strong. Yes, with capital letters. Do what you say you're going to do and don't do what you say won't. Respect your elders, don't cuss or spit or chew gum in public or talk on your cell phone while you're waiting on somebody. Clean your plate and eat what you're given. Pick up your clothes and help out whenever you can. Make eye contact, smile from your heart and have a good handshake (or handshake/hug combination.) Learn to write legibly and honor your commitments. Think happy thoughts (as much as is possible.) Don't take advantage of people or situations, and know, little baby, that if you don't play nice and I'm up in heaven (when you are an old, old person ... like 30 or 35) - I'll see every little thing you do. I know you know what I'm talking about here. Baby, be good.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

3 teeny-weeny digital things

one If something online seems too good to be true, or if it appeals to the most base of all your instincts: Do NOT click on it ... Free airline tickets, "Click here to see who's stalking you," "Look what this father did to make his daughter jump out of a moving car," and generally anything that has exclamation marks (!!!!) should be avoided at all costs ~ all of these, sadly and unfortunately, fall under the umbrella of Shady. Shady, shady shady. Don't even click on them because they will automatically launch little bots that harvest all your info and part of your friends' stuff. So not cool.

two If you have your Instant Message (IM) application open (in facebook and/or Google or whatnot) and you get a note from somebody saying something (anything) about you dancing funny in this video, or the hidden video shot of you in the bathroom or whatever else makes you twitchy: Do NOT click on the link. For real. Just don't do it. Immediately shut down your IM window and send a PM (Private message) to the sender and remember that you are smarter than that. Should it come to pass that someone on your island (among your "friends") is inclined to grab to this low-hanging fruit every single time ~ you may be well-advised to let them off your island.

three  Be sure to take "Digital Breaks" from time to time. Lay down in the sun, on a patch of grass or some white sandy beach, without your shoes and socks on. Don't have anything electronic or satellite-driven near your hands. It may seem unreasonable to be all disconnected like this, but give it up for a minute or two and don't get online. You can do this.


copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

three more things

one If you think you've got it bad (bad day, bad hair, no friends, bad back or no money) - Do something for somebody else. Get outside yourself and go get reminded that no matter how bad you've got it, there are always going to be people who have it much worse. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of that, and sometimes the only way to do that is to take an adventure to Worse-Off-Than-Me-ville.

two Some people are energy grabbers (life-stealers, moment-robbers, fun-killers ... whatev ...) and you have been given the gift of knowing this. Don't spend your time there with them because it's a catchy disease and can taint your well-being. When you find yourself keeping company with someone who is clearly incapable of saying anything good about anything or anyone: Run away. You'll know them when you meet them, just don't humor yourself into believing that you can help them embrace their inner positive side; they may not have one and it will wear you down to nothing.

three Don't use your laptop on an upholstered surface (like a couch or a bed) because it won't get good air circulation and could easily over-heat and live a short life. If you have some Blue Ice or a bag of frozen vegetables (corn and peas work great) - wrap them in a bandanna or something and put them under your processor. Remember to flip them over from time to time so you don't smell them cooking.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

guest blogger: joyce wright

Joyce Wright is a writer, a thinker, a mover and something of a shaker. She lives in Kentucky (but knows some people in Ohio) and can usually come with a good Three Things any time of day. Today, there are hers:

one Be empathetic. When someone is having a rough time in their life, try to remember the worst time in your life and imagine that their rough time is exponentially worse. Offer a kind word, a smile and maybe even a hug. Life is hard for all of us sometimes; who couldn't use the healing power of empathy in their lives? Feel what they are feeling and make an effort to make it better. It's an amazing experience to see someone brighten because you simply felt what they felt.

two Never miss an opportunity to show the universe that you care. We are all in this together and we are all connected. There is a saying that a chain is only as strong as it's weakest link. When you care about those less fortunate and show it, you strengthen the human chain. It benefits everyone, especially you. It will make you feel better about being you, probably more than you know.

three Give a hand up. If you have been blessed in your life, pay it forward. There are plenty of people who need some kind of help. Be that person who helps. Your help doesn't have to be gigantic, small help is just fine. The opportunities abound for you to help your neighbor, a stranger or someone you love and to make their life better. Don't be afraid to change someone's life with a gesture of good will.

copyright 2011 joycewright thesethreethings moemasters

kitchen conditioners and manners

one I was almost fifty before I learned this: When you sneeze, you say "Excuse me." Seriously? Who knew? I grew up in a world where you said, "God bless you." I then got to be an older grown up who totally expected everyone in the world to bless me when I sneezed. You can only imagine how disappointed I must have been the first time I was in a whole room full of Jewish people. Turns out, not everybody blesses you when you sneeze. AND, just for the record: I looked it up and you are supposed to excuse yourself when you sneeze. If you get blessed, it's total cream - as far as I can tell.

two If you're in the shower and you realize that you don't have any conditioner without alcohol and your hair is a total on-fire kinda mess from too much sun and salt: Wrap a towel around yourself, run down to the kitchen and squeeze about a smidge of mayonnaise and an equal amount of Olive Oil (it doesn't have to be Extra Virgin or anything) into your palm. and slather it all over your hair. Jump back into the shower and do whatever it is that you do there for about 3 minutes while your hair is drinking up all that great oil. Rinse with moderately hot water and you're good to go.

three It is considered really bad manners to agree to a meal or coffee or some other form of social engagement and then not show up and not call. It is completely uncool to send a text or private message (email) to extend apologies long after the said time has passed. If you agree to meet someone at a certain time, you are under social contract to show up or call way before your expected arrival.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

breaking all my own rules

Me before I got a laptop

one I am only one pasty white girl born and raised in the Midwest in the early 60's. My parents were direct descendants of 3rd generation Irish and German immigrants. They were the by-products of Old School Catholic indoctrination and values.  These values were passed along to me and I worry that some of the important stuff may not get passed along. You can choose to disagree with me because we live in America. That's cool. I wouldn't take ANY one single thing I say as gospel truth. This is the Internet, and it's your job to not believe anything you see here and disagree with it if you see fit.

My mom: Momo, Me & BZ

two My mother was a saint, and not a day goes by where I don't want to tell her something and hear her voice. She believed in the Camelot days of the Kennedy's and she bore a strong resemblance to Jackie. She had a tiny waist, a radiant smile and she was a Delta Gamma. Her perfect dark hair curled up at the ends and she wore an apron. She could cook meatloaf and twice-baked potatoes in high heels. She left us her recipes, written in her handwriting and they are among the most revered keepsakes of her love. She gave me the hope that people are, for the most part, good. She, dang-near, single-handedly taught me about forgiveness and survival and hope.

Momo 1 & Momo 2

She came from a solid working-class family in the Strawberry Hill neighborhood of Kansas City, Kansas. He father sold insurance for New York Life and her mother stayed at home and kept an immaculate and well-ordered home. They lived with-in walking distance of parents, aunts and uncles, dozens of cousins, the trolley tracks, the church and school, the doctor who made house calls (out the back door and across the alley) and the pub where Papa Leo could be found when it was dinner time. They played cards and sang in 5 part harmony for entertainment. Family meant everything and defined them. She was one of the five Connor sisters and each of her parents were from families that had, like 15 kids each. I'm talking about HUGE family gatherings that happened often.

JZ, The Lears: Record setting aviation flight

three My father did the best he could ever day. He was a professional success (I've been told that he was the world's very first aerospace editor.) He came from Jefferson City, Missouri and has a past that is either too tragic or too convoluted for me to remember. I know it wasn't pretty.  And, it's big enough to fill a good long blog or a short little book.
There will always remain the question of whether he did, or did not, have involvement with the CIA. He was brilliant and shifty.  He was out of the country often. I used to spend hours thumbing through his passport.

My father's family

He was born into a world of limitations and abuse that speak highly of his ability to survive. He was never perfect, but neither was anybody else, so it never really buried the needle on the weird-o-meter. He was blessed by being born into a world of strong and conscientious uncles and cousins. He taught me to write and edit with the best of them and his expectations both pushed me to be a better person and to become a girl who is prone to some wicked-bad self doubt.

Justin (JT) and Chelsea

four I got to help make two exceptionally gifted, thoughtful and conscientious children. They have proven that they are solid citizens and empathetic and accountable parents. They write letters by hand and they help strangers. They live life large and in meaningful ways. They're capable and kind. And they never fail to either make me crack up or get button-bustin' proud. They have given me grand babies, and I can only tell you that the love is exponential. I keep thinking my heart can't get any more full, and then it does. I don't get to see the babies often and I want to make their worlds easier than mine and my parents. And truthfully - they're still too young to get it, and I don't want to forget it before they'll get it. Nor do I want to bore 'em with it when we could be swimming or somethinng.

There. That's my street cred and history. I am thinking it will give you some insight into why I am here and doing this. Hope your winter rocks out loud, and let me know when you disagree with me OR if you would like to be a guest blogger. I love learning what other people think. And, for whatever reasons: People just keep sharing things and stories and laughs and tears with me ... and I think they are all pretty fantastic.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethree things

happiness and peace

one Remember that all you have to do to be happy is decide to be happy. There will always be people who need to share their discontent and test your resolve. There will always be situations that test the limits of your good humor. You will always get to be fine if you decide that's what you want. That is what I want for you. This choice does not mean that you won't be unhappy or mad sometimes, but your own happiness is all you can control. So, control it - you are the boss of you.

two Learn how to be happy doing nothing. Being quiet and alone with yourself could be one of the best ways to find out what is going on in your heart and your head. This isn't as easy as it sounds and you may have to work at it. Find ways to marinate in silence without TV or music or video games. Learn how to shut down your brain and just breathe.

three Know that almost everybody does the best they can and almost nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks "I'm going to ruin some lives and destroy things today." To that end, it's kind-of your job to mind the people you surround yourself with. You will know, pretty quickly, if you've let someone on your island who is filled with anger and poison intentions. It's pretty unlikely that you will change that in anyone and the chances are great that you will get some of their malcontent on you, so learn to walk away and let it go.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings