Sunday, November 17, 2013

Three Things for Beginners: Remedial Niceness

one When someone says, "Good Morning" or whatevs to indicate a howdy: You look at them and say something in return. I mean it. I don't think you should just speak when spoken to, but for the love of God and all things holy, when someone says something to you: Acknowledge it. You are a remarkable person and I know you can do this. You can be nice and respond like a human who was not raised by wolves. If you are offered help with something - either accept it or decline it, nicely. Pay attention to your words because they can become your actions. Just in case you've forgotten: Never, ever (under any circumstance) threaten to hurt someone or raise your hands to them. No hitting or scaring people with your anger. You are not that kind of person and you don't keep company with people who are. Don't forget it. 


two Be happy. As much as possible. You don't have to be happy all the time, but ... Ooohhh, little ninja ~ there is so much big stuff headed your way, to be reasonably and profoundly unhappy about, that I do not like watching you get all twisted up about this stuff that doesn't really matter. And, yes: I know it seems like it matters. 
It's more often than every year or week or day; It's every single minute and turn and choice, a bazillion times a day, that you get to choose to be happy. Sometimes the life machine kicks out some harsh horrible things and they take a minute or two to get over. But, over they get. It won't kill you. Lean in and hug your happy you. It makes you look adorable.


Advertisers lie, sometimes.
three I'm not entirely sure this will even be relevant by the time you are able to call this page up on your own, but just in case: Do not smoke. Please. At the tail-end of a perfectly groomed cigarette addiction I can tell you without doubt: Smoking cigarettes is just awful. 1) It stinks bad. Homes, clothes, hair, breath, cars, fingers. Stinkier than litter boxes and gasoline. 2) It costs a whole bunch of money that you could use to by locally made art, or something. Big bucks. Lots of 'em. 3) It kills you. Yea, like dead. Or, worse.
Surely this will be illegal by the time you see this.
Man. I do so hope so. 

moemasters thesethreethings2013 ©

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

3 Things: Joanne Cecilia Connor

Nobody knew she was on fire when she got here. My mother: Joanne Cecilia Connor
My mom, Joanne Cecilia Connor, remains the finest girl I've ever gotten to watch grow up. She died some number of years ago on a day exactly like this one. I remember it was more beautiful and more painful than any other day that had ever come before it. I woke up, today, with a complete and entire head full of my her. Therefore, we are going to pretend like I just opened up a leaping can of complete, unabridged Momo-sass on your beautifully crafted, behind, because I'm channeling Momo. 

one You'd best leave it like you found it. This also sounds exactly like the following: Clean up after yourself or put your crap anywhere but where I can see it or if you touch my stuff, don't let me find out or I will whoop you like a red-headed stepchild. 
Stuff like that. 
(Or: Go get me a switch from the Forsythia out back. That was my grand-Momo. Wicked powerful woman, there. I have no memory of ever getting actually switched. I can still hear her voice humming along to CSN&Y songs that we had hummed to her. She played by ear. She could play anything. She never raised a hand to me and the mere threat of it stays with me, now.)
two You're going to get out of it whatever you choose to put into it. So, you'd better love what you're doing. Too many people suffer through jobs and relationships and churches and politics that make their stomachs hurt so bad they have to take pills. Like, real pills from the pharmacist dudes. Sometimes, it causes Cancer. Love what you do and pay attention to what you love. Don't let yourself get sick over the choices you make. Mind your power. Own it. Choose wisely and get over it if you don't. Stop whining and make it better. The only power in the world, is ALL you - it's in you and on you, baby. They are starving babies in Biafra. For real. Learn to love your life as fast as you can. Run. Go! Now. I meant, "Do this now."
three Always take a chance. Gamble. Risk a little of this for a lot of that. Talk to strangers. Put money on a race based on names that you like or numbers that made you wake up happy. Believe in the impossible and random greatness of life. Know that everything happens for a reason and there is no reason. Listen more than you speak because you never know when somebody will gift you with a story that could never be retold or made better. Make eye contact and ask questions. Bring home that band from Ireland because you know that you have two dozen eggs that are only good for three more days. Let them stay in your tipi until they book out. Be present and know that that is some risky business. Don't hold back or reserve or wait or hesitate. Believe. Be all in. This matters. (All of this. Right now. Now matters.)

moemasters thesethreethings 2013 ©

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I love raindrops on roses and whatnot, but even more than that I totally dig finding dollars in clothes I haven't worn in ages, live music, social networking and search engine optimization, research, freecycle.com, homemade beer, home grown stuff, writing, talking, laughing, green movements, debate, dialog, dumpster diving, time travel, time-out chairs, psychology, meals that last for hours, pranks, astral projection, meaningful lives, the kindness of strangers, trains, trucks and tractors, cowboys, horses, deer, eagles, random occurrences, modern tragedies, small appliances, good socks and sturdy shoes, shiny objects, painting, playing stringed instruments and singing harmony, pulling perfect feather pillows out of the freezer on hot and humid Kansas summer nights, rodeos and county fairs, brokers, organics and authenticity, my kids, their kids and my huge extended family. I am a hugger and I probably laugh AND talk way too much.