crabbiness, thieves and throw-downs

one There are going to be days where you are just crabby. There could well be no one good reason for it, or it could be a cumulative effort from a million small things that you didn't even notice. But, know that there will be days where you won't be sunshine and unicorns. It just happens. It also makes you appreciate the days when you're inexplicably happy WAAAAY more.

two Don't make it easy for the bad guys. At the end of the day, when you're all done riding your bike around the neighborhood, put it away in the garage or wherever it belongs. If you leave it out front, it could get jacked way too easily. And, when you grow up, don't leave your keys in the ignition of your unlocked car. Someday it will get stolen. On the Internet: Protect yourself. Just be as smart about it as you can be ~ think it through. Just don't make it any easier for the bad guys than it already is. They're crafty and apparently have a lot of time on their hands to think up new and clever ways to upset your applecart.

three People who love each other will have disagreements. The greater the love, the greater the pain and the bigger the throw-downs. There could be slamming, stomping, swearing and tears. Probably. Maybe. That doesn't mean that it's time for you to bail. Learn to fight* fair and don't sucker-punch the people you love (and who love you) most. Get over it and iron out all the wrinkles as soon as you can. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.** And, conversely: If you find yourself on the front porch of a fight but you don't really want to burn the calories on it: It's probably not worth it to you and you need to cut ties and walk away.

*Fighting should never ever involve physical contact. I'm talking about disagreements here. IF anybody ever hits you or bites or kicks you: RUN AWAY, little baby. 

**I say these things like I know or have tested the theories. I have personally never experienced any degree of success in this arena, but I know people who've been together for 20-30 years, and I've seen how they roll.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

roosters, kilts and kitchens

one Look out for the freakin' roosters by the front door. Even if they look like they are just hanging out (all casually,) pecking at food by the entrance ~ those turds are just jacking with you. Do not ever trust a rooster. Roosters will attack you. And, just as some kinda side-bar: If you should ever need a security animal, get a rooster. Those ill-tempered pikers will break some flesh and laugh about it with their posse. NEVER trust a rooster unless you want them to guard the entrance to the castle. I think they drink your whiskey when you go to sleep and they take your car out on country roads after midnight, but I couldn't be sure.

two If you are going to subscribe to Western Medicine, make sure you have insurance or a strong pool of patrons. It costs way too much to be healthy and stay alive in America. Mind your assets. Do NOT get cancer, heart disease or any one of the many long-term, slow-progression terminal diseases. For real. Don't do it. THINK.HAPPY.THOUGHTS. Don't get sick.

three Do not go into the kitchen if you can not handle the heat. It's hot in the kitchen, there are open flames and whatnot. This is as much metaphorical as it is realistic. I wouldn't open that door if I were you and didn't want to get all sweaty and hot. Unless, maybe you're good to go in there because you are starving to death. Otherwise, I would just wait for a sec....

copyright 2010 moemasters thesethreethings