Saturday, October 16, 2010

roosters, kilts and kitchens

one Look out for the freakin' roosters by the front door. Even if they look like they are just hanging out (all casually,) pecking at food by the entrance ~ those turds are just jacking with you. Do not ever trust a rooster. Roosters will attack you. And, just as some kinda side-bar: If you should ever need a security animal, get a rooster. Those ill-tempered pikers will break some flesh and laugh about it with their posse. NEVER trust a rooster unless you want them to guard the entrance to the castle. I think they drink your whiskey when you go to sleep and they take your car out on country roads after midnight, but I couldn't be sure.

two If you are going to subscribe to Western Medicine, make sure you have insurance or a strong pool of patrons. It costs way too much to be healthy and stay alive in America. Mind your assets. Do NOT get cancer, heart disease or any one of the many long-term, slow-progression terminal diseases. For real. Don't do it. THINK.HAPPY.THOUGHTS. Don't get sick.

three Do not go into the kitchen if you can not handle the heat. It's hot in the kitchen, there are open flames and whatnot. This is as much metaphorical as it is realistic. I wouldn't open that door if I were you and didn't want to get all sweaty and hot. Unless, maybe you're good to go in there because you are starving to death. Otherwise, I would just wait for a sec....

copyright 2010 moemasters thesethreethings

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I love raindrops on roses and whatnot, but even more than that I totally dig finding dollars in clothes I haven't worn in ages, live music, social networking and search engine optimization, research,, homemade beer, home grown stuff, writing, talking, laughing, green movements, debate, dialog, dumpster diving, time travel, time-out chairs, psychology, meals that last for hours, pranks, astral projection, meaningful lives, the kindness of strangers, trains, trucks and tractors, cowboys, horses, deer, eagles, random occurrences, modern tragedies, small appliances, good socks and sturdy shoes, shiny objects, painting, playing stringed instruments and singing harmony, pulling perfect feather pillows out of the freezer on hot and humid Kansas summer nights, rodeos and county fairs, brokers, organics and authenticity, my kids, their kids and my huge extended family. I am a hugger and I probably laugh AND talk way too much.