Love in The Times of Contagion

Hey My Loves!

Again, I know it's been too long and for that I apologize. I wish I had a decent reason for being gone so long, but I do not. If I were to write you guys, every time I think of you, we'd have a million stories and words. I'm going to do much better at dropping by more often.

Right before Felix was born I decided I was going to start this blog and make it like letters that my Momo used to write me - full of love and fun things while also passing along little things that she knew were important. In the twelve or thirteen years that have passed since Felix arrived, I've changed format and my mind and top-secret spy locations a whole bunch of times - now you guys are pretty much all grown up and capable of understanding more complicated things and sentences and whatnot. So, I'm just going to keep doing this but make it more like a letter or a journal.

*Do you guys keep journals? If you don't, you might just love it. Get yourself a sweet empty book

with pages you love to touch. Find pens that fit your hand and have ink in colors you like. Tell yourself that every day you are going to write something. Anything, really. From what I've seen - you're very smart and you write well. Journalilng (I think that's what they call it) is a kinda cool way to do a whole bunch of things. Not the least of which is ....

one  Learn how to write well. Write your name, write your address, write numbers and letters and symbols in ways that show your style or attention to detail. Writing is a blast. When you have just the right ink, on just the right paper - it's like beautiful power. You can do or say or create anything you want and nobody is the boss of you but you.

I hope this little spot of staying home is at least a little fun for all of you. I also very much hope it's only a little spot and not some kinda long-term plan, because I'm just not really loving it so much. I do have to wonder though - what DO you guys do at school that makes it last all day long. I'm getting to help teach and herd a couple most-excellent teenagers, a little here and there, and we pretty much have all the actual school work done by noonish.

What's it like at your house? Are you missing all your buddies at school? I miss my friends so bad it hurts sometimes, but I think I'm getting better at being happy doing nothing, all by myself.

two  Learn how to enjoy your own company. Learn how to sit still. I could make each one of these things their very own books (like the bazillions of writers before me have done) but for me, they are so closely related, that I think you need to learn both at the same time. I also think that when I say "sit still" I really might mean, learn how to do nothing and be happy. What with the whole world screeching to a halt, I've found that I really do have time to not be doing something. I'm still not very good at it, but I think when you get to be an adult and you have to pay bills and whatnot, you forget how to stare at clouds or chase frogs... basically - do nothing. I really hope you don't forget how to be happy all by yourself, doing nothing.

three Get a job. Yea, I know you're still a kid, but I was on payroll when I was 8 or 9... your

mom or dad was too. It's a great way to make your own money to buy your own cool stuff. Just 'cuz all your friends don't have jobs means you have to be unemployed, too. Just put down these screens and go offer to mow the lawn or clean an entire bathroom; Ask where the cleaners and rags are. I'll bet you dollars to donuts, your parent will smile and ask if you want PayPal or Venmo or what. All y'all are going to be looking at dorm rooms or apartments within the next handful of years and you're going to want the nice stuff that you've grown accostomed to. Chop chop, buttercup. 

That's all I got besides don't ever give up hope. 

I started this note to you at the end of March.

It took me THIS long to remember that we got this. 

Protest where you can, smash the patriarchy

&

Don't touch your face.

xomomo

crabbiness, thieves and throw-downs

one There are going to be days where you are just crabby. There could well be no one good reason for it, or it could be a cumulative effort from a million small things that you didn't even notice. But, know that there will be days where you won't be sunshine and unicorns. It just happens. It also makes you appreciate the days when you're inexplicably happy WAAAAY more.

two Don't make it easy for the bad guys. At the end of the day, when you're all done riding your bike around the neighborhood, put it away in the garage or wherever it belongs. If you leave it out front, it could get jacked way too easily. And, when you grow up, don't leave your keys in the ignition of your unlocked car. Someday it will get stolen. On the Internet: Protect yourself. Just be as smart about it as you can be ~ think it through. Just don't make it any easier for the bad guys than it already is. They're crafty and apparently have a lot of time on their hands to think up new and clever ways to upset your applecart.

three People who love each other will have disagreements. The greater the love, the greater the pain and the bigger the throw-downs. There could be slamming, stomping, swearing and tears. Probably. Maybe. That doesn't mean that it's time for you to bail. Learn to fight* fair and don't sucker-punch the people you love (and who love you) most. Get over it and iron out all the wrinkles as soon as you can. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.** And, conversely: If you find yourself on the front porch of a fight but you don't really want to burn the calories on it: It's probably not worth it to you and you need to cut ties and walk away.

*Fighting should never ever involve physical contact. I'm talking about disagreements here. IF anybody ever hits you or bites or kicks you: RUN AWAY, little baby. 

**I say these things like I know or have tested the theories. I have personally never experienced any degree of success in this arena, but I know people who've been together for 20-30 years, and I've seen how they roll.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings