Tuesday, October 15, 2013

True Stories

one In the old days, you could get really angry about something and say that you were going to burn the place down, or kill somebody. You really can't do that anymore. It's an unfortunate component to the permanency of the digital webs and a pretty well-warranted response to terrorism and bullies, but saying/writing inflammatory things like that can get you on a list of possible terrorists and/or reported to an agency tasked with keeping track of potential threats.
two It does not take a Rocket Surgeon to build a profile of your digital self based on the aggregate weight of your vibe, of your status updates, comments and photographs. When most all of the stories and experiences you share are those of profound personal victimization, you will be perceived as a person who is always profoundly unhappy. You are the cultivator of a poisonous garden. It's really just simple math. If most of what you say is a rant or you sharing how poorly you feel, you will likely be profiled as a complainer by potential employers, lovers or associates. And, ain't nobody got time for that shiznit.
three Physical violence has never solved anything and only demonstrates your lack of creativity and critical thinking skills. If you are prone to using threats and violence to get what you want and need, you are a bully. Stop it and no more screaming, it just makes you look funny and it's hard not to laugh.

moemasters thesethreethings 2013 ©

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Three Absolutes

one: If you do/say/write/share something online: It is forever. You may
November 1948
think you killed it by deleting it, just ten minutes after you posted it, but it is anything but dead. If it was embarrassing or inflammatory enough to have piqued interest: Somebody (a lot like me) took a screenshot of it or dumped it on her hard drive to show her friends, later.  If you do not know what a screenshot is (or how to dump something on your own personal hard drive,) you are in deep trouble and need to seek professional help. I charge $120/hour, or more depending on your resistance and vocabulary.

two: The Internet is still not "Your Internet." When you tell me that I broke, or you broke, or ...hell, - tell me your kids broke your Internet - I will know that we probably can't do business. The Internet belongs to all of us and is the massively beautiful trainwreck of information it is, BECAUSE we all still have some modicum of control regarding it's use and content. Until the government gets it's big ol'sticky fingers in this pie, we ALL get to play with it as freely as our education allows. You can't break it. Don't be scared. (Unless, somehow, porn and morons meet up on your hard drive, then be very, very afraid. You should probably hire a professional. Professionals take a vow of silence and are ethically bound to not share your secrets. They know how to safely surf porn and they will take secrets to the grave.) When you say the words, "My Internet is broken" you lower your street cred by about 89.3% - mind your power. (Look for future article: I Saw it on the Internet, so It Must Be True.)
Brooklyn. Hope.

three: Mind.Your.Freaking.Power. For real. I'm running out of ways to say this annnnd I love you. I so seriously don't like it when I am unhappy. Nobody loves that. You always repeat it back to me, while looking deep into my unnaturally blue eyes, like you understand and believe it. I have actually believed that you understand the weight of your power, like, a million times now. 
Every single calorie you burn, every keystroke you make and every thought you have that turns into an intention or action is a direct reflection of your power. Dude. This isn't math or religion, or maybe it's both. But, for the love of God, Please Fly right.
People love you, I see that. They do what you are doing, they drink your Kool Aid. Your words are read, your pictures liked and you are imitated. You are your brand, unfortunately. This feels so much like Orwellian futuristic stuff to me, and I'm not that old. Trips me out.
Here's the deal: Everything you do online matters and is stored, like in some sort of permanent high-school locker that will be yours until long after your body dissolves back into the planet. You are accountable. There are no trophies being awarded for having shown up to play. You only have so many days and hours and laughs and deaths to do what you gotta do, and do it well. 
Don't harbor secrets, don't think that you are smarter than anybody and don't think that a tenacious researcher can't or won't find out what makes you tick. Sidebar: People may or may not hire you, marry you or keep you based on what they find.  We judge. We are evolved humans, with thumbs and we judge. Never forget that. (I did not invent this principle nor do I endorse and support it, I just know that it is. Like that gigantic floating island of trash by Hawaii.)

Just know that you are perhaps one of the most powerful things on earth.
Have you ever looked at a teenager in the right light, with a total absence of teen-angst and had a fond memory for how you felt in your body with no scars and your heart fulla hope, and thought: "Damn. It's good to be a gangster."
That's how much power you have.
Mind that shit.

I wouldn't say anything if I din't care.
moemasters 2013 © yep. It's copyrighted.

BONUS 4TH THING: If a person with a copyright has the resources to sue you after you steal their work: They will win. Don't steal work, Ninjas. Same same goes for photographs and songs. Don't steal... Yo'mama raised you better than that.


Who you is?

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I love raindrops on roses and whatnot, but even more than that I totally dig finding dollars in clothes I haven't worn in ages, live music, social networking and search engine optimization, research, freecycle.com, homemade beer, home grown stuff, writing, talking, laughing, green movements, debate, dialog, dumpster diving, time travel, time-out chairs, psychology, meals that last for hours, pranks, astral projection, meaningful lives, the kindness of strangers, trains, trucks and tractors, cowboys, horses, deer, eagles, random occurrences, modern tragedies, small appliances, good socks and sturdy shoes, shiny objects, painting, playing stringed instruments and singing harmony, pulling perfect feather pillows out of the freezer on hot and humid Kansas summer nights, rodeos and county fairs, brokers, organics and authenticity, my kids, their kids and my huge extended family. I am a hugger and I probably laugh AND talk way too much.