3 Things: Joanne Cecilia Connor

Nobody knew she was on fire when she got here. My mother: Joanne Cecilia Connor

My mom, Joanne Cecilia Connor, remains the finest girl I've ever gotten to watch grow up. She died some number of years ago on a day exactly like this one. I remember it was more beautiful and more painful than any other day that had ever come before it. I woke up, today, with a complete and entire head full of my her. Therefore, we are going to pretend like I just opened up a leaping can of complete, unabridged Momo-sass on your beautifully crafted, behind, because I'm channeling Momo. 

one You'd best leave it like you found it. This also sounds exactly like the following: Clean up after yourself or put your crap anywhere but where I can see it or if you touch my stuff, don't let me find out or I will whoop you like a red-headed stepchild. 
Stuff like that. 
(Or: Go get me a switch from the Forsythia out back. That was my grand-Momo. Wicked powerful woman, there. I have no memory of ever getting actually switched. I can still hear her voice humming along to CSN&Y songs that we had hummed to her. She played by ear. She could play anything. She never raised a hand to me and the mere threat of it stays with me, now.)
two You're going to get out of it whatever you choose to put into it. So, you'd better love what you're doing. Too many people suffer through jobs and relationships and churches and politics that make their stomachs hurt so bad they have to take pills. Like, real pills from the pharmacist dudes. Sometimes, it causes Cancer. Love what you do and pay attention to what you love. Don't let yourself get sick over the choices you make. Mind your power. Own it. Choose wisely and get over it if you don't. Stop whining and make it better. The only power in the world, is ALL you - it's in you and on you, baby. They are starving babies in Biafra. For real. Learn to love your life as fast as you can. Run. Go! Now. I meant, "Do this now."

three Always take a chance. Gamble. Risk a little of this for a lot of that. Talk to strangers. Put money on a race based on names that you like or numbers that made you wake up happy. Believe in the impossible and random greatness of life. Know that everything happens for a reason and there is no reason. Listen more than you speak because you never know when somebody will gift you with a story that could never be retold or made better. Make eye contact and ask questions. Bring home that band from Ireland because you know that you have two dozen eggs that are only good for three more days. Let them stay in your tipi until they book out. Be present and know that that is some risky business. Don't hold back or reserve or wait or hesitate. Believe. Be all in. This matters. (All of this. Right now. Now matters.)

moemasters thesethreethings 2013 ©

True Stories

one In the old days, you could get really angry about something and say that you were going to burn the place down, or kill somebody. You really can't do that anymore. It's an unfortunate component to the permanency of the digital webs and a pretty well-warranted response to terrorism and bullies, but saying/writing inflammatory things like that can get you on a list of possible terrorists and/or reported to an agency tasked with keeping track of potential threats.

two It does not take a Rocket Surgeon to build a profile of your digital self based on the aggregate weight of your vibe, of your status updates, comments and photographs. When most all of the stories and experiences you share are those of profound personal victimization, you will be perceived as a person who is always profoundly unhappy. You are the cultivator of a poisonous garden. It's really just simple math. If most of what you say is a rant or you sharing how poorly you feel, you will likely be profiled as a complainer by potential employers, lovers or associates. And, ain't nobody got time for that shiznit.

three Physical violence has never solved anything and only demonstrates your lack of creativity and critical thinking skills. If you are prone to using threats and violence to get what you want and need, you are a bully. Stop it and no more screaming, it just makes you look funny and it's hard not to laugh.

moemasters thesethreethings 2013 ©

Three Absolutes

one: If you do/say/write/share something online: It is forever. You may

November 1948

think you killed it by deleting it, just ten minutes after you posted it, but it is anything but dead. If it was embarrassing or inflammatory enough to have piqued interest: Somebody (a lot like me) took a screenshot of it or dumped it on her hard drive to show her friends, later.  If you do not know what a screenshot is (or how to dump something on your own personal hard drive,) you are in deep trouble and need to seek professional help. I charge $120/hour, or more depending on your resistance and vocabulary.

two: The Internet is still not "Your Internet." When you tell me that I broke, or you broke, or ...hell, - tell me your kids broke your Internet - I will know that we probably can't do business. The Internet belongs to all of us and is the massively beautiful trainwreck of information it is, BECAUSE we all still have some modicum of control regarding it's use and content. Until the government gets it's big ol'sticky fingers in this pie, we ALL get to play with it as freely as our education allows. You can't break it. Don't be scared. (Unless, somehow, porn and morons meet up on your hard drive, then be very, very afraid. You should probably hire a professional. Professionals take a vow of silence and are ethically bound to not share your secrets. They know how to safely surf porn and they will take secrets to the grave.) When you say the words, "My Internet is broken" you lower your street cred by about 89.3% - mind your power. (Look for future article: I Saw it on the Internet, so It Must Be True.)

Brooklyn. Hope.

three: Mind.Your.Freaking.Power. For real. I'm running out of ways to say this annnnd I love you. I so seriously don't like it when I am unhappy. Nobody loves that. You always repeat it back to me, while looking deep into my unnaturally blue eyes, like you understand and believe it. I have actually believed that you understand the weight of your power, like, a million times now. 
Every single calorie you burn, every keystroke you make and every thought you have that turns into an intention or action is a direct reflection of your power. Dude. This isn't math or religion, or maybe it's both. But, for the love of God, Please Fly right.
People love you, I see that. They do what you are doing, they drink your Kool Aid. Your words are read, your pictures liked and you are imitated. You are your brand, unfortunately. This feels so much like Orwellian futuristic stuff to me, and I'm not that old. Trips me out.
Here's the deal: Everything you do online matters and is stored, like in some sort of permanent high-school locker that will be yours until long after your body dissolves back into the planet. You are accountable. There are no trophies being awarded for having shown up to play. You only have so many days and hours and laughs and deaths to do what you gotta do, and do it well. 
Don't harbor secrets, don't think that you are smarter than anybody and don't think that a tenacious researcher can't or won't find out what makes you tick. Sidebar: People may or may not hire you, marry you or keep you based on what they find.  We judge. We are evolved humans, with thumbs and we judge. Never forget that. (I did not invent this principle nor do I endorse and support it, I just know that it is. Like that gigantic floating island of trash by Hawaii.)

Just know that you are perhaps one of the most powerful things on earth.
Have you ever looked at a teenager in the right light, with a total absence of teen-angst and had a fond memory for how you felt in your body with no scars and your heart fulla hope, and thought: "Damn. It's good to be a gangster."
That's how much power you have.
Mind that shit.

I wouldn't say anything if I din't care.
moemasters 2013 © yep. It's copyrighted.

BONUS 4TH THING: If a person with a copyright has the resources to sue you after you steal their work: They will win. Don't steal work, Ninjas. Same same goes for photographs and songs. Don't steal... Yo'mama raised you better than that.

Three from Mary Mann

marymann has somehow survived, against all odds. She is, therefore, eminently qualified to have three things and to share them with the grandbabies. These three kinda rock out loud.

one All of your life you are talking to yourself. It has been my experience people will talk to themselves in a way they would never speak to anyone else. Practice, always practice, talking to yourself in a supportive, loving manner. It will pay off. I have found, for myself, the way I talk to myself is reflected in the way I speak to others. Very nice. I practice very nice all the time. 

two In my life there are people I have lost track of and I miss them terribly. I regret I didn’t keep in touch or at least make sure I knew how to keep in touch with them. There are people in my life who I don’t exactly have anything in common with, and yet there they are. I am not as unhappy about people I don’t like being in my life as I am about losing the people I did like. Take a minute, now and then, to touch base with those people you really like. It will matter later. 

three If you are going to have pets, they are going to die. They are going to get sick, they are going to have accidents. If you love them, they know. They always know. Pets are not concerned with growing old and knowing their grandchildren or their grandchildren’s grandchildren. They live in the moment. They love in the moment. They know you love them, now. They know you care. They are also animals who have a much shorter life span than we do. I don’t think it ever lessens the love of one life to love another. Love is one of those things that only grows. Love never fades and disappears, it always remains and when given away it grows. There are many, many pets waiting to know you love them, and waiting to love you. I believe when a pet is lost, take some time, honor your grief. That pet is indeed no longer living. The love you had for that pet exists still and when your ready for that love to grow, get another pet. I promise you will find more love than you ever realized. Love is funny that way. Having a pet is also funny that way.

copywrite 2012 moemasters thesethreethings marymann. yep.

These Three.

one. Never forget how much I love you. Know that there is somebody on this planet who gives an incredibly big hoot about what you choose to do. Do the right things and think happy thoughts. Finish what you start. Life is just too short to do otherwise.

two. When things seem to be too good to be true, they probably are. There really are no free lunches. If you are blissin'all the way out about your amazingly phenomenal stroke of luck at the end of the day - you may wanna just Google "karma."

Know this: everything worth having is worth working for. The Toll lurks and stalks. The Toll keeps track. You will bleed and sweat; I do so wished that that weren't the case. You may swear like a sailor. You probably will. The Toll may wake you up every single morning.  Things are probably going to get messy - don't drag your heels and do wear your good gloves. Keep up.

three. When the people on your island want to talk about God or The President: Just turn your head to the left and look up. Do not go there. Chuckle. Life is too short. Cough. Snore. Trust me on this one. We will talk about this business when you can button your own jeans and drive a car. For real. Smile and nod, Baby. If I din't love you I would not mention this.

@copyright moemasters thesethreethings 2012    BOOya.

teachers, music and death by Diana Markley Guidas

one IF you have had at least one great teacher in your life, and you can find a phone number, let that person know that they had an impact on your life.  I had a math teacher in high school named Mr. Wilbur. He taught me pre-calculus and calculus, and he had an incredible gift for making math understandable.  Twenty years after I graduated, I was at my parents’ house for Christmas, and I called Mr. Wilbur.  He had long since retired, and I am quite sure he did NOT remember me, but it didn’t matter.  I just told him that he was the best teacher I ever had, and I wanted him to know that.  I have never regretted making that phone call. 

two When someone invites you to a concert ~ GO.  I don’t care what genre of music is being played.  I used to think that I only wanted to attend performances by groups that I was familiar with … the Stones?  Sure.  Jackson Browne?  Of course.  CSN&Y?  Absolutely.  Mike Finnigan?  Always.  Then I met my husband.  In the past 8 years, he has taken me to over a hundred concerts, most of which were entertainers I had never heard of.  Some of them have been in tiny venues with audiences of 20 people; Others have been in huge stadiums.  The music has opened my mind and my heart and my soul.  I have danced in the aisles, stomped my feet and sung at the top of my lungs. There were perhaps 2 concerts that I didn’t enjoy all that much.  But two, out of more than a hundred, is a pretty good statistic.

three There are no rules for grieving.  When my mom died, and I was crying, my brother pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket with the phone number for a funeral home and started dialing.  I was furious with him.  Wasn’t he upset?  Wasn’t he sad?  What was his problem?  He didn’t have a problem…he simply had a different way of grieving.  When someone passes away, there are those who clean out that person’s closet the day after the funeral and those who want to wait a year or five or ten.  Don’t judge - there are no rules for expressing grief.

copyright 2012 thesethreethings moemasters dianamarkleyguidas 

Tres Importants

one Forgive and forget is more than just a tired old cliche. Bad shit happens, people make unbelievably regrettable mistakes and screw up in ways that they weren't even capable of dreaming up. Get.Over.It. By virtue of the fact that we get to keep on growing older, we get to get smarter and more understanding as well. Yea, some of the big stuff takes a minute or two get over, but it is way WAY not worth throwing in the gloves. All the bad energy you burn up thinking unhappy or vengeful things will come back to you ten-fold. Trust me on this one. If,by some unfortunate series of star alignments, you are unable to forgive and carry on, then cut ties and burn that bridge all the way down, baby. Never fail to smile and nod, politely, in public. But let it go and move forward. No smack-talk and no public throw-downs. Don't look back and always be grateful for the lessons that little bit of bloodshed gave you.(If you almost bled to death you don't have to be nearly so grateful, ever... just smarter.)

two You can actually go back. Y'know, like: Home. It's a way over-used little sentence that's got something about how you can never go back. Well, you can too. Obviously you can't go back to, like, specific points in time (Like that one autumn when we were shooting the Howdy video and the leaves were falling like snow and the house was full of teenagers drinking all our milk and I had on my favorite skirt.) But, you can go back home, if you really want to. I don't have any quantifiable evidence to support this statement, but going back home could feel as awesome as leaving felt. And, I don't mind telling you: Leaving felt fan-freakin-tastic. A couple times. (The vortex known as Wichita has a powerfully strong pull and leaving often takes several attempts.) But, don't be putting all your eggs in that basket called "You can never go back." And, furthermore: Git! Get out of your town for the love of God. You'll get stale if you stay too long.... you'll grow things like potatoes....

three A good guest learns to recognize the cues that suggest he/she is about to get punched in the throat if silence doesn't happen soon. What this means to you is this: Sometimes you have to stop talking. That's it. Less is more, for real - more often than not.

copyright 2012 moemasters thesethreethings