No Baby Buzzkills

one You can agree to disagree about things that you believe with people who are in your orbit and it's okay. It's not a contest and you don't have to be emotional and undone. It really is all good and, if you enjoy that person's company, you just agree to not discuss that thing anymore. You can figure out pretty quickly how somebody feels about something and if it's not what you believe and you really like their company - just ssshhhhhhhh.

two Be real. Get real and stay real. Don't say one thing and do another. If you think you are super-duper smart or religious or political or physically fit or philanthropic - just be those things and don't devalue them by telling anybody about it. If you're doing it right, everybody will know. When you talk about it, it makes it seem like you are insecure and

doubtful enough as to need somebody else's approval. You don't need that; You quietly got this.

three Please don't be a buzzkill, baby. I know it's hard to grow up or eat vegetables or attend things you didn't dream up, but you have to suck it up sometimes and act like you're happy anyways. You don't have to act happy all the time, that would be wickedly mean and ridiculous. You do have to have manners and know when to use them. If there is any doubt, feel free to read any one of the hundreds of short, sweet little bites of etiquette I have already shared here. I wouldn't have written them if I didn't love you.

© 2015 moemasters thesethreethings

The Root of Three Things

one Moderation might just be the key to living a meaningful life. I am all-in for testing limits and almost getting arrested or nearly getting married, but I would hope that this fundamental piece of advice is way more meaningful than a key to The Estate where you can always seek refuge and store your boxes of high school art. For sure do the things that keep you contemporary. Occupy and consume and own and storm and drop and puff.puff.pass while you do ping-pong shots across from people who make your blood run hot. Do all of that just enough to know all the rules you are choosing to break.

two Tell The Truth and surround yourself with truth-tellers or be willing to age extra-super-duper turbo-fast and probably get cancer, often. This has not been scientifically proven to be The Specific cause of cancer, but I have my suspicions. It's an insidious slippery slope that starts with things like "I din't fart/burp or Everything is fine" and digresses with age and loss of bliss to things like "No.really You look great in those jeans and I understand why you hit me and... "  I know you and your delicate Spidey Senses and I know that you know when it feels wrong. Do not ever yield to the will of nefarious six-fingered bastards. Always ask yourself: "Would my Momo treat me this way?" 

three Be Patient with yourself and your expectations and expeditions. You are not really the boss of you in every single instance. There is a way to stay true to your wants and tend to your needs. Nobody but you knows, really, what you need and I know you are smart and clever and brave enough to make everything that matters happen. All of it. You got this if you just stay true and move slowly with patience, like a ninja. I love you and the way you get what you need.

© 2015 moemasters thesethreethings 

Three Fueled by Cabin Fever

one Learn how to give and receive a compliment. When somebody says something like, "You look nice" or "You did a great job!" or "I love your shoes" or whatever, look them in the eyes and say, "Thank you." You can ad lib here and say "Thank you so much" or "Thanks, man" or something as formal or as casual as the circumstance dictates, but for sure acknowledge the compliment, receive it kindly and if you want, you can add something like "I worked so hard on that project, I'm glad it showed" or "these are my most fave shoes!" or whatever applies, but make it clear that you heard a nice thing said and you're grateful. In turn, get outside yourself enough to find something about the person you're with, to say something meaningful and nice. If history serves as any kind of indicator, you may find yourself with completely outside your comfort zone people who tell you stories that make your flesh crawl and a compliment can be the perfect good bye. Just say something like "Wow. That is a spectacularly scary story! Well done!" Compliments are sweet in their flexibility.

two If being happy is a thing that appeals to you - do that. Be happy. You're going to burn about the same amount of calories getting happy as you would getting sad or mad. So, it's all on you, little cowpoke. I love your guts so much, I would always wish happiness for you, but I know the release in throwing down with a good conniption fit or sobbing till you breathe funny. Don't whine about your lack of happiness, and keep the unhappiness contained because it can get on other people. You can get glad in the same pants you got mad in, and don't let anybody tell you that you have to be happy, ever. You be happy when you want, and be sure to keep the ickiness in your own space. 

*Unless you're with your best friend, then you should get all the unhappiness out of you because they will always love you forever and ever anyways and it's therapeutic.

three About visiting: Always make sure it's cool to drop by and don't show up empty handed. This is pretty much a very for real thing. I used to think there were exemptions like best friends or moms or aunts or something, but I was wrong. Without exception, when you visit somebody, take a little something something to say Hey, I love you enough to have thought about how lucky I am to visit you in your crib, so I brought you this little thing like a bottle of wine or some flowers or a hermit crab. It all depends on the audience, but be thoughtful and always make sure it's cool to drop by. You weren't raised by monkeys.

moemasters (C) thesethreethings 2015

Liars and Thieves and Boars. OH.my.

one No lies. Don't lie about anything. I know that you know I know when you lie, but what you need to know is that you might or might not come from a very long long line of genetically altered DNA that will make lies seem like a reasonable choice, sometimes. Lies are never reasonable. Really. Even the ones asked by loved ones that will make your heart ache to answer truthfully. Do not lie. Use your vocabulary and find the right words to be honest and kind. It's not that hard and becomes habitual after you do it often enough. And, I will always know when you are lying. Know that.

two No stealing. Don't take anything that isn't yours. If you want to borrow something, you have to ask first. And, IF you're asking for something that belongs to somebody else, make sure you have enough bank right now in your pocket to cover the cost of replacing it, (in the highly unlikely but probable chance you will have to replace it.) Yea. I know. Not fun. But, seriously baby. Papa Z wouldn't even let us LOOK at his stuff. The CIA clandestine lengths he went to, just to make sure nobody touched HIS stuff, were way way unreasonable. But, always a good reminder: IF it's not yours - DON'T touch it.

three Learn the fine art of conversation so you can engage in the moments that only spark once in a lifetime and only for those who participate. The process of doing this is much bigger than you have the attention span for, right now. But know this: If you stay informed and tuned-in to the life around you and you listen more than speak - you'll be golden. Pay attention to the stories that are breaking free and you'll never bore somebody into the next room at a party. 

moemasters thesethreethings 2015

Three in a Nick of Time

hey! I know it's been a minute, and boy is that true. I got busy, I made some people some money and stuff got large. But, now I'm back and getting ready to take you with me on an expedition. That's a long story for another blog, so today you get these three. I know you're pressed for time, I'll be brief.

one You don't have to say every single thing that pops into your beautiful little head. Just because you thought it, doesn't necessarily mean that you need to say it out loud (or type it for keeping forever online somewhere.) And, sometimes it's even best if you don't say it. The fine line that separates what you should say from what you should not say is slippery and requires pretty much your full attention, so don't drink too much. Like, ever. Ever if you're going to be speaking and possibly held accountable for what you say.

two It's okay to not like some people's company very much but you always have to be pleasant until you can make a sweet little diplomatic break from orbit. The Smile And Nod technique is employed here to great success. Be sure your eyebrows are raised (not too much) and you have the pleasant smile of a person who just thought about a white sandy beach while you gracefully excuse yourself. It's that easy. Then don't think about it anymore and repeat if necessary.

three If you shop at Walmart - don't tell me about it. I'm not asking you to lie, I just think you shouldn't tell me if you value the independent spirit of the mom and pop merchants who are the backbone of this country so little that you'd do that. I dunno. It's your life and all, but oh baby ninja - every thing you do matters. And, yea - I know these three things aren't always totally cool, but be glad you're not a grown up yet. 

© 2015 thesethreethings moemasters

BONUS THING: Learn to ask for help. I'm sure I"ll have more to say about this soon, but know that you have to learn this sooner than I did. Till then: CLICK HERE. Scary stuff.