teachers, music and death by Diana Markley Guidas

one IF you have had at least one great teacher in your life, and you can find a phone number, let that person know that they had an impact on your life.  I had a math teacher in high school named Mr. Wilbur. He taught me pre-calculus and calculus, and he had an incredible gift for making math understandable.  Twenty years after I graduated, I was at my parents’ house for Christmas, and I called Mr. Wilbur.  He had long since retired, and I am quite sure he did NOT remember me, but it didn’t matter.  I just told him that he was the best teacher I ever had, and I wanted him to know that.  I have never regretted making that phone call. 

two When someone invites you to a concert ~ GO.  I don’t care what genre of music is being played.  I used to think that I only wanted to attend performances by groups that I was familiar with … the Stones?  Sure.  Jackson Browne?  Of course.  CSN&Y?  Absolutely.  Mike Finnigan?  Always.  Then I met my husband.  In the past 8 years, he has taken me to over a hundred concerts, most of which were entertainers I had never heard of.  Some of them have been in tiny venues with audiences of 20 people; Others have been in huge stadiums.  The music has opened my mind and my heart and my soul.  I have danced in the aisles, stomped my feet and sung at the top of my lungs. There were perhaps 2 concerts that I didn’t enjoy all that much.  But two, out of more than a hundred, is a pretty good statistic.

three There are no rules for grieving.  When my mom died, and I was crying, my brother pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket with the phone number for a funeral home and started dialing.  I was furious with him.  Wasn’t he upset?  Wasn’t he sad?  What was his problem?  He didn’t have a problem…he simply had a different way of grieving.  When someone passes away, there are those who clean out that person’s closet the day after the funeral and those who want to wait a year or five or ten.  Don’t judge - there are no rules for expressing grief.

copyright 2012 thesethreethings moemasters dianamarkleyguidas 

Tres Importants

one Forgive and forget is more than just a tired old cliche. Bad shit happens, people make unbelievably regrettable mistakes and screw up in ways that they weren't even capable of dreaming up. Get.Over.It. By virtue of the fact that we get to keep on growing older, we get to get smarter and more understanding as well. Yea, some of the big stuff takes a minute or two get over, but it is way WAY not worth throwing in the gloves. All the bad energy you burn up thinking unhappy or vengeful things will come back to you ten-fold. Trust me on this one. If,by some unfortunate series of star alignments, you are unable to forgive and carry on, then cut ties and burn that bridge all the way down, baby. Never fail to smile and nod, politely, in public. But let it go and move forward. No smack-talk and no public throw-downs. Don't look back and always be grateful for the lessons that little bit of bloodshed gave you.(If you almost bled to death you don't have to be nearly so grateful, ever... just smarter.)

two You can actually go back. Y'know, like: Home. It's a way over-used little sentence that's got something about how you can never go back. Well, you can too. Obviously you can't go back to, like, specific points in time (Like that one autumn when we were shooting the Howdy video and the leaves were falling like snow and the house was full of teenagers drinking all our milk and I had on my favorite skirt.) But, you can go back home, if you really want to. I don't have any quantifiable evidence to support this statement, but going back home could feel as awesome as leaving felt. And, I don't mind telling you: Leaving felt fan-freakin-tastic. A couple times. (The vortex known as Wichita has a powerfully strong pull and leaving often takes several attempts.) But, don't be putting all your eggs in that basket called "You can never go back." And, furthermore: Git! Get out of your town for the love of God. You'll get stale if you stay too long.... you'll grow things like potatoes....

three A good guest learns to recognize the cues that suggest he/she is about to get punched in the throat if silence doesn't happen soon. What this means to you is this: Sometimes you have to stop talking. That's it. Less is more, for real - more often than not.

copyright 2012 moemasters thesethreethings

from a grandbaby perspective

My name is Evelyn Mae. I am a grandbaby to whom all this great advice is directed. I have limitations because I'm, like, way short. But I see stuff. You guys need to chill and stare deeply into this. Bring your A-Game or call in sick.

one I am in charge here. If you ever forget that, try to go for a midnight taco run and then remember that it's a felony to leave a sleeping, teeny weeny, perfect, baby in a crib. Yea. I know. It's harsh, but I am kinda going to call all the shots from now on. Well, not like forever, but for a long long unspeakably long time. It will work out great for all of us so long as you remember that one thing. I could go on, ad nauseum, about what all this entails, how many compromises you will have to make, the blood, the sweat... the tears.... but: Life is short, I know you don't want to actually have to hear me tell you these things.

two If you feed me three, maybe four, pounds of fresh organic tomatoes when I am on a seriously bad-ass road trip, you will have to help me clean up. Dude. I am a baby. You cannot plead ignorance and you cannot feed my weakness  for vegetables. Seriously. You are fifty and I am not yet two. You do the math, think about the acid in tomatoes and give my mom a call. She was not a happy navigator.

three I know that you have to have some fingerprints on my spirit before all is said and done. This is what you grown-ups do as evolved mammals. I'm good with that. You need to own it. Engage. Teach me to sit up straight, make eye contact, use my manners, dumptster dive, pass algebra, read a book, feed the homeless and manage. Expect something of me. Cope. Help me cope. It's going to take every single one of you. Yea. Even you. You didn't even know that you mattered, but it's nutty what matters to a baby.  I count on you to think happy thoughts and keep your shit together. (I am allowed to talk like that on Momo's Porch of Immunity. She said so. The grown-ups can't hear it.)

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings evelyn mae

Change, change, change.

The dawn of another autumn in New England has guest blogger Eric Klein contemplating change in all it's incarnations. He's got some credibility on the topic as the photo he supplied of himself dating from the early 70's clearly demonstrates.

one While prevailing wisdom suggests that highly successful people embrace change, one thing is certain. Survivors learn to cope with it. One secret to adapting to change is to understand that change tends to act as an equalizer, lifting some people from hard times, while simultaneously knocking some people from their pedestals. Coping with the teeter-totter rhythms of change helps keep us humble and reminds us to enjoy the good times.

two Don't underestimate the power of the seemingly lowly penny, nickel and dime. Alone they seem insignificant, but heap a whole pile of them together, and they can do some amazing things! Get a clean bucket, a few coffee cans or even an old fashioned piggy bank and start tossing spare change in it. Do this each day for a few months (no withdrawals!) and you'll be surprised how much it adds up to. It may not be enough to buy a pony, but it might be enough to get you the skateboard or MP3 player that will make you the envy of the neighborhood. All the cool kids will want to sit with you at lunch.

three Try not to fall in love with one particular set of clothes to the exclusion of all others. While it is totally normal to have a favorite, (trust me, I had a pair of blue parachute pants that I wore until the thread disintegrated) it can be off-putting to others to see you in the same outfit all the time. Besides, your favorite clothes will start to get funky after a while if you don't launder them regularly. Change clothes daily (and yes, that does include socks and underwear) and mix and match items for variety. Don't be afraid to experiment with your style a little. A little change can be fun!

copyright 2011 thesethreethings, moemasters, ericklein

When I Was a Kid, We Didn't even Have facebook.

If my parents were still alive, they would have both so totally been facebook people. The tech-support with my father might have very well killed me, but my mom would have dug this place. The changes that are happening now on the book of the face are shaking things up like plates shifting underfoot and these are the three things I would tell my parents if they were here...

one Facebook is changing and I'm sorry it's upset your delicate balance. Change is good if you don't protest too much.  facebook is an evolving medium. It is a commercial enterprise and is fed by our innate need for human connection. We are NEVER going to be charged a fee to hang there because advertisers are smart people who throw fistfuls of cash at facebook every single day believing that roughly 800 million of us meet up there. They don't have to charge us, we are consumers.

Annnnnnnd, Right.Here is where we suck it up and lean into the change. We sound like our ancestors sitting around the old Victrola when they were talking about those newfangled radio things. Seriously. Change is way cooler than the alternatives. We are movers and shakers and stuff happens here on earth. We can always choose to not play or stay or whatever. Facebook is going to change because it's a fluid, not a solid. And, we are the bosses of us. Stuff changes, we have to learn new skills, we grow complacent and then stuff changes again. It's life.

two Your online well-being is so completely, totally and wholly in your own hands that it's nutty. Every thing you do online is something that you could be held accountable for. Even if you think you have deleted and erased and deactivated and disabled: Somebody can find whatever they want if they are so inclined and smart enough. Lots of people are smart enough now, so you either have to be super-duper-smart or stay away. Do not drop this ball, Baby. Smarten up about your digital resources. I trust you and that great big ol'brain of yours.

It's also a really good idea to never ever share anything digitally that you wouldn't be comfortable sharing with the world. Remember that in sharing it with the world, you open yourself up to thievery (or mockery.) People can steal your stuff and call it their own (if you're good enough and careless,) just as quickly as they will find your flaws. Survival of the fittest stuff just like Darwin, but digital.

three Any time you click on "allow an application" to have access to your information you are saying that it's okay to harvest your story. For real: Be Careful. Some of the people who build and sell these apps are making huge pantloads of money. It is their job to gather information about you, package that and sell it. It's just the nature of the beast and you either allow it or not. 

At the end of the day: Don't be giving it all away. That stuff (your information and your story) is way more your stuff than your actual stuff. Physical stuff can be replaced (usually) but this digital universe plays a mean pinball. Trust few and play smart, Baby. I know you can do this.

copyright thesethreethings 2011

Diana's Three Things

My friend, Diana, is a middle aged woman who still has a 17-year old, bell-bottomed hippie-girl inside her. She talks into a microphone for a living and she has a smile that will make you tell her anything. She snuggles pugs for chillaxation and her kitchen counter has magical properties..

one Don’t ever despair of meeting your soulmate (if you haven’t already).  Although I can’t promise that it will happen, I can tell you that you might meet the love of your life at age 40, 50 or 60.  You are never too old to fall head over heels in love.  The other side of that coin is, you don’t have to have a soulmate to be complete.  If it never happens, life can still be terrific.

two Never pass up an opportunity to visit a zoo.  Getting up close and personal with flamingos, penguins, hippos, elephants and zebras can put a smile on your face, smooth out those stress wrinkles on your forehead, and amaze you.  The gorgeous patterns on giraffes, the incredible sleekness of tigers, and the antics of chimpanzees never fail to give me a sense of awe, and a renewed appreciation of the animal kingdom.

three If you sleep well every night, be grateful.  Sleep is one of those things you don’t think about too much, until it eludes you.  Good sleep at night makes a huge difference in your days …. how you feel, how you work, how you interact with others, and how you have fun.  Too many nights of tossing and turning can cause a quiet despair to form in your soul.  So, if you’re a good sleeper….lucky you!  (And don’t take it for granted).

copyright 2011 thesethreethings moemasters Dianamarkleyguidas

Not Dead Yet: Your Three Things

I threatened to dig a shallow grave for this little project recently and have met with just enough resistance to decide to wait it out. I'm going to see what happens if I ride in the back seat and let you drive the car. Kinda, sorta - I'll be like a back-seat GPS who's pushy and has just a smidge of control. You get to provide the content and I get to be a cheerleader.

I have received a handful of great blog submissions and am now able to get back to regularly scheduled programming. Three things, three minutes, once a week. You know the drill. You know you've got three things in you - Here's your chance to get 'em out. Please do one of these. Heck, do five. I love it when you guys do this.

What follows are the three things I need from you to take your three ideas and format them to my liking:

one Please give me a good picture, that you like, of yourself. The bigger, the better - but I can do pretty much anything with anything. It just gets all arty when what I receive is too small or not sharp. I love the old baby shots of you, too. Just send me a good head shot to: moemasters@hotmail.com

two A brief introduction or bio or something funny that I can use as a cutline under your photograph. Some little way of saying "Howdy!" to the people who read this and haven't yet met you in person.

three Your Three Things. I can clean copy up and won't let you walk around with your skirt tucked in your pantyhose all day, so don't worry about the technical stuff. Just send me three things. If they just happen to come to me all perfect and ready to run, then know I am so hugging you. Hugging. You. And, as always: Grateful.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings