two Everybody farts. You know those people who seems to have everything under control all the time? Every hair is where it is supposed to be? They know exactly what to say and when to say it? They get really good grades and don't have to work for them? They're not as perfect as you think. Sometimes they feel sad and lonely. Sometimes they go to Pity City. Sometimes they're embarrassed. Sometimes their hair is out of place, sometimes they get pimples, and sometimes they feel lost. Sometimes they fart.
three You are not the refrigerator. This seems obvious, but at some point it will be important to remember. At some point, you will live with other people. People keep doing this even though people have a hard time living with people. You will eventually fight over things that are inconsequential, but during the fight these things will seem huge. Sometimes, during the fight, we have a hard time separating ourselves from the subject of the fight. So, maybe one person did a very nice thing in trying to organize the fridge, and the other person is grumpy because they can't find the mustard and they just want their sandwich because they are very hungry, and it blows up and both people have hurt feelings. Both people need to step back, and remember that they are not the refrigerator. This is shorthand for "you are more than your actions." And also, "you can fight about behaviors and still love the person." Sometimes you need an easy way to remember these things. You can substitute appliances as your need. Sometimes you'll need to remember that you're not the bathtub that you didn't clean because you had a big test that day, but the person you live with is upset because you said you'd clean it. Or,you'll need to remember that your father is not his accordion that he left on the stairs for you to fall over, again.
copyright 2010 moemasters/marlo hamrick
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