from a grandbaby perspective

My name is Evelyn Mae. I am a grandbaby to whom all this great advice is directed. I have limitations because I'm, like, way short. But I see stuff. You guys need to chill and stare deeply into this. Bring your A-Game or call in sick.

one I am in charge here. If you ever forget that, try to go for a midnight taco run and then remember that it's a felony to leave a sleeping, teeny weeny, perfect, baby in a crib. Yea. I know. It's harsh, but I am kinda going to call all the shots from now on. Well, not like forever, but for a long long unspeakably long time. It will work out great for all of us so long as you remember that one thing. I could go on, ad nauseum, about what all this entails, how many compromises you will have to make, the blood, the sweat... the tears.... but: Life is short, I know you don't want to actually have to hear me tell you these things.

two If you feed me three, maybe four, pounds of fresh organic tomatoes when I am on a seriously bad-ass road trip, you will have to help me clean up. Dude. I am a baby. You cannot plead ignorance and you cannot feed my weakness  for vegetables. Seriously. You are fifty and I am not yet two. You do the math, think about the acid in tomatoes and give my mom a call. She was not a happy navigator.

three I know that you have to have some fingerprints on my spirit before all is said and done. This is what you grown-ups do as evolved mammals. I'm good with that. You need to own it. Engage. Teach me to sit up straight, make eye contact, use my manners, dumptster dive, pass algebra, read a book, feed the homeless and manage. Expect something of me. Cope. Help me cope. It's going to take every single one of you. Yea. Even you. You didn't even know that you mattered, but it's nutty what matters to a baby.  I count on you to think happy thoughts and keep your shit together. (I am allowed to talk like that on Momo's Porch of Immunity. She said so. The grown-ups can't hear it.)

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings evelyn mae

Change, change, change.

The dawn of another autumn in New England has guest blogger Eric Klein contemplating change in all it's incarnations. He's got some credibility on the topic as the photo he supplied of himself dating from the early 70's clearly demonstrates.

one While prevailing wisdom suggests that highly successful people embrace change, one thing is certain. Survivors learn to cope with it. One secret to adapting to change is to understand that change tends to act as an equalizer, lifting some people from hard times, while simultaneously knocking some people from their pedestals. Coping with the teeter-totter rhythms of change helps keep us humble and reminds us to enjoy the good times.

two Don't underestimate the power of the seemingly lowly penny, nickel and dime. Alone they seem insignificant, but heap a whole pile of them together, and they can do some amazing things! Get a clean bucket, a few coffee cans or even an old fashioned piggy bank and start tossing spare change in it. Do this each day for a few months (no withdrawals!) and you'll be surprised how much it adds up to. It may not be enough to buy a pony, but it might be enough to get you the skateboard or MP3 player that will make you the envy of the neighborhood. All the cool kids will want to sit with you at lunch.

three Try not to fall in love with one particular set of clothes to the exclusion of all others. While it is totally normal to have a favorite, (trust me, I had a pair of blue parachute pants that I wore until the thread disintegrated) it can be off-putting to others to see you in the same outfit all the time. Besides, your favorite clothes will start to get funky after a while if you don't launder them regularly. Change clothes daily (and yes, that does include socks and underwear) and mix and match items for variety. Don't be afraid to experiment with your style a little. A little change can be fun!

copyright 2011 thesethreethings, moemasters, ericklein

When I Was a Kid, We Didn't even Have facebook.

If my parents were still alive, they would have both so totally been facebook people. The tech-support with my father might have very well killed me, but my mom would have dug this place. The changes that are happening now on the book of the face are shaking things up like plates shifting underfoot and these are the three things I would tell my parents if they were here...

one Facebook is changing and I'm sorry it's upset your delicate balance. Change is good if you don't protest too much.  facebook is an evolving medium. It is a commercial enterprise and is fed by our innate need for human connection. We are NEVER going to be charged a fee to hang there because advertisers are smart people who throw fistfuls of cash at facebook every single day believing that roughly 800 million of us meet up there. They don't have to charge us, we are consumers.

Annnnnnnd, Right.Here is where we suck it up and lean into the change. We sound like our ancestors sitting around the old Victrola when they were talking about those newfangled radio things. Seriously. Change is way cooler than the alternatives. We are movers and shakers and stuff happens here on earth. We can always choose to not play or stay or whatever. Facebook is going to change because it's a fluid, not a solid. And, we are the bosses of us. Stuff changes, we have to learn new skills, we grow complacent and then stuff changes again. It's life.

two Your online well-being is so completely, totally and wholly in your own hands that it's nutty. Every thing you do online is something that you could be held accountable for. Even if you think you have deleted and erased and deactivated and disabled: Somebody can find whatever they want if they are so inclined and smart enough. Lots of people are smart enough now, so you either have to be super-duper-smart or stay away. Do not drop this ball, Baby. Smarten up about your digital resources. I trust you and that great big ol'brain of yours.

It's also a really good idea to never ever share anything digitally that you wouldn't be comfortable sharing with the world. Remember that in sharing it with the world, you open yourself up to thievery (or mockery.) People can steal your stuff and call it their own (if you're good enough and careless,) just as quickly as they will find your flaws. Survival of the fittest stuff just like Darwin, but digital.

three Any time you click on "allow an application" to have access to your information you are saying that it's okay to harvest your story. For real: Be Careful. Some of the people who build and sell these apps are making huge pantloads of money. It is their job to gather information about you, package that and sell it. It's just the nature of the beast and you either allow it or not. 

At the end of the day: Don't be giving it all away. That stuff (your information and your story) is way more your stuff than your actual stuff. Physical stuff can be replaced (usually) but this digital universe plays a mean pinball. Trust few and play smart, Baby. I know you can do this.

copyright thesethreethings 2011

Diana's Three Things

My friend, Diana, is a middle aged woman who still has a 17-year old, bell-bottomed hippie-girl inside her. She talks into a microphone for a living and she has a smile that will make you tell her anything. She snuggles pugs for chillaxation and her kitchen counter has magical properties..

one Don’t ever despair of meeting your soulmate (if you haven’t already).  Although I can’t promise that it will happen, I can tell you that you might meet the love of your life at age 40, 50 or 60.  You are never too old to fall head over heels in love.  The other side of that coin is, you don’t have to have a soulmate to be complete.  If it never happens, life can still be terrific.

two Never pass up an opportunity to visit a zoo.  Getting up close and personal with flamingos, penguins, hippos, elephants and zebras can put a smile on your face, smooth out those stress wrinkles on your forehead, and amaze you.  The gorgeous patterns on giraffes, the incredible sleekness of tigers, and the antics of chimpanzees never fail to give me a sense of awe, and a renewed appreciation of the animal kingdom.

three If you sleep well every night, be grateful.  Sleep is one of those things you don’t think about too much, until it eludes you.  Good sleep at night makes a huge difference in your days …. how you feel, how you work, how you interact with others, and how you have fun.  Too many nights of tossing and turning can cause a quiet despair to form in your soul.  So, if you’re a good sleeper….lucky you!  (And don’t take it for granted).

copyright 2011 thesethreethings moemasters Dianamarkleyguidas

Not Dead Yet: Your Three Things

I threatened to dig a shallow grave for this little project recently and have met with just enough resistance to decide to wait it out. I'm going to see what happens if I ride in the back seat and let you drive the car. Kinda, sorta - I'll be like a back-seat GPS who's pushy and has just a smidge of control. You get to provide the content and I get to be a cheerleader.

I have received a handful of great blog submissions and am now able to get back to regularly scheduled programming. Three things, three minutes, once a week. You know the drill. You know you've got three things in you - Here's your chance to get 'em out. Please do one of these. Heck, do five. I love it when you guys do this.

What follows are the three things I need from you to take your three ideas and format them to my liking:

one Please give me a good picture, that you like, of yourself. The bigger, the better - but I can do pretty much anything with anything. It just gets all arty when what I receive is too small or not sharp. I love the old baby shots of you, too. Just send me a good head shot to: moemasters@hotmail.com

two A brief introduction or bio or something funny that I can use as a cutline under your photograph. Some little way of saying "Howdy!" to the people who read this and haven't yet met you in person.

three Your Three Things. I can clean copy up and won't let you walk around with your skirt tucked in your pantyhose all day, so don't worry about the technical stuff. Just send me three things. If they just happen to come to me all perfect and ready to run, then know I am so hugging you. Hugging. You. And, as always: Grateful.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

The Final Three

one Your expectations could very well jack up the quality of your life. Expect nothing out of people and situations. What ever happens will be what happens. This applies to every single little thing. Expectations breed disappointment, almost every time.

two Almost without exception, when people you really love die: You will make some historically awful choices. Just know this much going in and maybe you can avoid some of the life-altering consequences that come from making any important decisions when you are ill-equipped to do so. If you are lucky enough to have a partner, or a sibling or a friend who loves you - you will have a little wiggle room. But, plan on being alone and strong and not making any choices bigger than what to put on the memorial card.

three Never stop learning stuff. If you suddenly wake up one day and realize that you haven't stretched your brain in a long time - it's time to learn something new. Never stop that business. Ever. Learn to speak Russian or play guitar or totally kick butt in Scrabble. But, learn something that you don't already know, and make it kind of difficult.

Thanks for being such stellar grandbabies, I promise I'll stop telling you stuff now, I trust your instincts enough to know that what I haven't shared - you will figure out. You are golden and stellar and will never even be capable of disappointing me. You are incredible and I love you. xoxo momo

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings

dogs, boats & everything

one Know that I didn't write these rules, they just are what they are. You will be judged by the company you keep. If you lay down with dogs you probably will wake up with fleas (especially when you're laying down with dogs whose owners don't subscribe to flea treatments.) Should you ever find yourself wondering what you're doing hanging out with people who do things that constantly embarrass you, you probably need to re-evaluate. It may always be more comfortable to hang with people who have no expectations (of themselves and you) but it's a lot more rewarding to hang with those who make you try to be a better a person. I'd do that instead.

two Try not to buy big ol' expensive toys that exceed your skill set. If, for instance, you think you need a motor boat - you'd best learn how to start and stop it before you put it in the water. There is great responsibility attached to the privilege of ownership. In the case of owning a boat: You'll also need some rope, extra life jackets, buoys, a fire extinguisher and a whole bunch of other stuff too. These big ol' toys require pretty constant cash infusions and a whole pantload of common sense. Boats also require gasoline, lots and lots of gasoline. Just know that the bigger and more expensive the toys: The more you'll be required to put into 'em. It just makes you look silly when you have big expensive toys and you don't know how to use them properly.

three There may come a day when you think you know everything, not about everything, necessarily, but about something. It's going to be hard, but you need to remember that you probably don't know everything and are probably not qualified to be the end-all resource on what ever topic it is that you think you know every single thing about. Hedge your bets, baby. Leave room for there to be addendums or additions to what you are pontificating about. You may know a lot, but you probably don't know everything. And, this is not an indictment, it's just fact. You are still brilliant, baby, and way above average.

copyright 2011 moemasters thesethreethings