practicalities times three

one If you've got a little collection of food scraps for the compost pile: Take 'em out before the fruit flies hold a conference on your counter. If you are going to compost you are going to have to deal with it. I would recommend a cool counter-top compost bin.

two No matter how badly you want to stick your finger in a perfectly frosted cake - don't do it, it will make the baker mad. As soon as somebody gets a picture of it, it's open season. But, don't be messin' with the cake until you have clearance. 

three Do your best to keep your most major hissy fits (aka: Conniption Fits) as private as possible. Everybody has hissies and they vary in size. Some are itsy-bitsy and others are gigantic. If you're going to go off the deep end, try not to get that on anybody. Some hissies are going to be so big that they'll be reclassified as "Personal Hurricanes" (or tsunamis.) There probably won't be many of those.

copyright 2010 moemasters thesethreethings

Make Like a Fireman!

one You have more time than you think you do and probably less than you have planned. Don't be late. Spit spot. This is all that you have and you would be well-advised to embrace and laugh and drink plenty of water. I'd buckle up, too ... If I were you. We may experience a little turbulence.

two Always have a good pitch fork. Close tines and a long handle will get you out of almost any tight spot. Bend with your knees and grab from underneath. Brace yourself. Always. And, mind your back and shoulders...

three Do your best to eliminate your expectations. People will surprise you almost every time. Read Emerson's "Essay on Self Reliance" and learn to embrace you Inner-Limber. Bend and fold and don't hang your hat on anybody else's word. People make shit up and everybody has an agenda. Be skeptical and do your research.

copyright 2010 moemasters yadayadayada

Giant Snow Rabbits and Trees

one If you want to feel gigantic, just sit in a chair and at a table built for a 4 year old. Drink from those teeny weeny skinny Chinese Coke cans and dramatically crush it when you've slammed the whole thing. Then you can belch like a professional eater and yell, 'I am a giant!!!"

two Learn to build something a little bit better than just a snowman out of good packing snow. Snowmen are cool, but Snow bunnies are better. Be creative and remember than you can make about anything out of snow. To that end: Have good gloves, keep your ears covered up and never forget that it takes a good team to pull off a spectacular snow something.

three Plant trees. Or, plant vegetables or flowers or shrubs or something. Don't ask me why, just do it. It's good for you if you learn how to do it right, and it's easy to learn how to do it right. It doesn't need to be huge, but you ought to start something from seed and watch it grow.

copyright 2010 moemasters thesethreethings

Happiness, Friends & Slumber

one The Dalai Lama has been quoted saying that “The central method for achieving a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes and strengthens positive ones.” Think happy thoughts and make the unhappy ones go away. In with the Einstein, out with the Hitler.

two Sleep tight and often. It's almost impossible to be happy when you are completely exhausted. Get your rest and you'll be happier. You'll look better too, so there's that. Just get your rest when you can.

three Have friends who are important to you. Cultivate those relationships and make sure they grow. Friends make you happier and they are like little love bombs adding to your radiance.  Friends make this whole trip a lot more fun and you would be silly not to have some.

copyright 2010 thesethreethings

one If you love someone - tell them. If you don't - don't say that you do. These are mighty powerful words and are not to be bandied about recklessly. Do not mistake love for ownership or need. It's one thing to love someone, and an entirely different thing to need them or feel like you own them. People will screw up because they are just human beings, and you will still love them. Do not make your love conditional on their ability to not disappoint you. And, if you love them - let them know. If you don't, don't say that you do.

two Make eye contact with people. It doesn't matter if it's someone who is getting you fries with that or someone who asks you to be home by midnight. Make eye contact, let whomever it is that you are dealing with know that you are engaged and listening. People who don't make eye contact are shifty and not to be trusted. Mind your trust - don't put it in places where it need not be. You don't have to hang with people who don't look you in the eyes - and don't be one of those people.

three Stomp in puddles of rain sometimes. Your clothes can be washed and your shoes will dry out. Stomping in puddles is kind of rewarding and can make you laugh. While doing this you can catch raindrops on your tongue. Don't rush so hard that you forget how good it feels to get some rain on you. Dance, spin and laugh at the possibilities while you stomp in puddles of rain sometimes.

copyright 2010 moemasters

Three Remedial Things: For Beginners

one Always look both ways before you cross the street. Sometimes I still forget and this is totally not cool.

two Learn how to tell time on an old-fashioned clock. Old-fashioned clocks have hands that spin around and point to 12 different numbers. Don't be one of those kids who can't tell time.

three Don't let yourself get all stinky. If you can smell you - other people can smell you too. IF you have no sense of smell but you know that you busted a sweat, you probably ought to get cleaned up - just to be on the safe side. There are few things in the world as sweet smelling as a squeaky clean human.

copyright 2010 moemasters

Guest Blogger: Marlo V.2

one Knees.  You only get this pair.  Well, technically, you can have surgery at some point to get others, but they won't work quite right.  No matter how much you campaign, the doctors will install the "weather change prediction" feature in the knee, it will be painful, and you won't like it.  Take care of your knees.

two Everybody farts.  You know those people who seems to have everything under control all the time?  Every hair is where it is supposed to be? They know exactly what to say and when to say it?  They get really good grades and don't have to work for them?  They're not as perfect as you think.  Sometimes they feel sad and lonely.  Sometimes they go to Pity City.  Sometimes they're embarrassed.  Sometimes their hair is out of place, sometimes they get pimples, and sometimes they feel lost. Sometimes they fart.

three You are not the refrigerator.  This seems obvious, but at some point it will be important to remember.  At some point, you will live with other people.  People keep doing this even though people have a hard time living with people.  You will eventually fight over things that are inconsequential, but during the fight these things will seem huge. Sometimes, during the fight, we have a hard time separating ourselves from the subject of the fight.  So, maybe one person did a very nice thing in trying to organize the fridge, and the other person is grumpy because they can't find the mustard and they just want their sandwich because they are very hungry, and it blows up and both people have hurt feelings.  Both people need to step back, and remember that they are not the refrigerator. This is shorthand for "you are more than your actions."  And also, "you can fight about behaviors and still love the person." Sometimes you need an easy way to remember these things.  You can substitute appliances as your need.  Sometimes you'll need to remember that you're not the bathtub that you didn't clean because you had a big test that day, but the person you live with is upset because you said you'd clean it.  Or,you'll need to remember that your father is not his accordion that he left on the stairs for you to fall over, again.

copyright 2010 moemasters/marlo hamrick